CHAPTER 9 LUCKY NIGHTS AND LONELY DAYS....continued

As I was setting up the restaurant one morning a very pleasant surprise popped up. A twenty-year old short, petite punk rock girl walked in and asked me if we were hiring. I quickly asked her if she was 18 or older because you have to be at least 18 to carry alcohol to a table, but I really just wanted to know if she was legal or not. Once she told me her age I sat her down for an interview. This girl was different to say the least. She was totally tatted up and had this whole “Suicide Girl” look to her. If you don’t know what a suicide girl is I highly recommend you look them up online. Anyway the point is that this girl was very sexy and very eclectic. Of course the interview was just a formality because I was going to hire her regardless of what she said. So I welcomed her to the team and told her to come in the next day for training. We walked to the front of the restaurant and shook hands as she left. But I just left the best part out. The best part was the half a second she eye fucked me as I shook her hand. This was a true pupil-to-pupil sexual encounter we just shared, and I knew right then and there it was going to be on like donkey Kong. If this were a movie you could just cut right from the handshake/eye fuck scene straight to a shot with her legs spread and in the air while I’m on top giving her the business, and by business I mean my penis.

OK that was kind of weird but seriously I fucked her about a week later. Katie was a nice girl, she was a little out there but she had a good heart. And if you haven’t noticed by now I’m clearly attracted to crazy women. She had a dark mystery to her, she wrote a lot of poems about dying and just death in general. It was totally fuckin hot. But under all the tattoos and Goth makeup she was just another pretty yet insecure girl. Katie and I had random hook ups but nothing ever got too serious. Even though managing my time between my girlfriend and lover was hard enough, I figured what the hell, why not try and throw another ball into this fun juggle of women

So there it is, I’m a total playboy once again. I have a girlfriend, a little freak on the side and another little freak on the other side. Everything is just perfect in my life right? Well not exactly. As time went on I quickly noticed a certain reoccurring trend. Every night I was busy with Shannon, Jackie or Katie but for some reason, every morning as I woke up the first thing I thought of was Layla. FUCKIN LAYLA. She was still on my mind, not so much when I was partying with one of these girls but every single day as sure as the sun rose I would cogitate about that gloriously beautiful she-devil. I had everything I wanted but I didn’t have her. The odd thing about it all was that things couldn’t be any better with Shannon and me. I cut Jackie down to pretty much just Friday nights because Shannon had work early on Saturdays and always stayed in the night before. As for Katie she was just a random late night fling so basically most of my time was dedicated to Shannon. We were starting to get serious but it didn’t freak me out like it normally would. Commitment is a lot easier to handle when you’re not really committed. Sometimes I felt so guilty for what I was doing to her. Shannon was a very sweet, innocent and gullible girl. She never questioned what I did when I wasn’t with her; she never looked through my phone or email, in essence all the things Layla did. It’s ironic because I was always faithful to Layla and never to Shannon. However every time I felt conscience-stricken I would just think about the pain and suffering my so-called serious relationship caused me and I simply figured this was easier. So to make up for all my guilt I treated Shannon like the princess she was. I tried as hard as I could to cater to her needs. I never let her lift a finger and always paid for everything, I even started doing things I have never done for any girl. I would buy her random little gifts all the time, I would surprise her at her job with flowers, most of the time I did these kind acts after a long night of fucking someone else. Another factor was that my normal jealous and over possessive ways were nowhere to be found. There is a two-part explanation for all this. 1) I totally trusted her and 2) I really didn’t care. I thought to myself if I found out she was cheating on me it would just make me feel less guilty. But that’s the problem I was truly indifferent to the whole situation. See it wasn’t just my possessiveness that was missing it was also my passion. The two, it seems, go hand in hand. I cared about Shannon but I wasn’t in love with her, I wasn’t even close. As for Jackie she eventually faded out of my life (I think she found a new fling or two) but instead of focusing on and spending more time with Shannon, my assiduity turned to Katie. We start to hookup regularly, mostly late night. Katie drank a lot and loved her cocaine so she always called me between 1 and 4 AM. Katie knew I was seeing someone else but it didn’t bother her, she was all about having an open relationship and even though she didn’t have a boyfriend she did have a girlfriend. She told me that they had an understanding with one another and they could both do whatever with guys but another girl was considered cheating. So one night or morning I should say, I wake up to my phone ringing and see its KURT calling. I store Katie and pretty much all girls’ names in my phone as a guys name that starts with the same letter. This way if I’m laying in bed with Shannon and my phone goes off at three in the morning instead of explaining to her why some girl named Katie is calling me at this time, I just say “that’s my boy Kurt, he's probably drunk and needs a ride. Oh that crazy Kurt he’s a maniac”. So as I look at my phone I think twice about answering because I had to work in the morning, but I pick up anyway. Katie was wasted as usual so I expect the regular question of “hey you wanna hang out”? Which meant can I come over to fuck, but this time was a little bit different. She starts the conversation with “hey I need a favor from you, but I'm not sure how you’re going to react and if you don’t want to I totally understand”. Normally a comment like this is followed with someone asking you to do something you genuinely do not want to do. But in this case that could not be further from the truth. Katie then proceeds to tell me that she is with her girlfriend and they need somewhere to crash for the night. I knew Shannon wasn’t coming by in the morning so I quickly tell Katie of course you and your girl can sleep here. Then I ask her why she wasn’t sure as to how I would react to them spending the night. Katie tells me that was not the favor she needed and after a slight hesitation Katie blurts out that she and her girlfriend are horny and they need to borrow my cock for the night. I swear to you, verbatim that is what she said. Needless to say I was pleasantly surprised. I made some corny joke about how my cock was not a clip on and that it had to be a package deal that included the rest of me. Katie gives me a fake laugh and tells me they will be over in about twenty minutes. I quickly hop out of bed and begin to clean the pigsty that is my room. I wash my face; brush my teeth and do the balls check. It’s a standard move you just take your hand and rub around the boys. Fred and Ted in my case, Fred is on the right and Ted is on the left. Then you just bring that hand up to your nose and evaluate the situation. Well my assessment was a quick one because the stench of my swamp balls was so pungent I could smell it before my hand reached my face. That’s when I realized I had worked a ten-hour shift today and did not take a bath when I got home. So I hop in the shower and come out so fresh and so clean. Luckily it took the girls longer than expected to get to my house, so I had ample time to do a quick bachelor type clean, which included duties such as throwing my dirty clothes and other random shit laying around into my closet, taking out the dirty dishes laying around, specially the 4 day old 7/11 nachos (with chili and cheese) on top of my TV and lets not forget the most important thing to remember before you have a girl over your place, you have to get rid of all evidence of other girls, for example, earrings or makeup or lip gloss or well I think you get the point. Though I knew Katie knew about Shannon and didn’t care I still made sure to not leave any trace of her around, what can I say I am a creature of habit. So Katie and her girlfriend (Erin) finally arrive, first thing I notice is that they are both completely hammered. I quickly start to chug some beers so I can catch up a little bit. We start to play a drinking game that somehow evolved into a game of truth or dare. Wait…Before I go further let me give u a brief overview of the scene and before I do that let me tell you about Erin. She was very much a suicide type girl herself, she had very short spiky blonde hair and even though most girls can’t pull that look off, Erin rocked it in a very sexy way. She was emphatically thin; she had that seductive Kate Moss-I use heroine look in her eyes. Erin had a pretty flat ass but nice handful size breasts to make up for it. Oh and just in case you were wondering her toes were mediocre at best. The girls were at some concert all night so they were both dressed up in provocative and impure little punk rock outfits. I can’t remember exactly what they had on but ill never forget Katie’s short black skirt with the spiked metal belt and the purposely-ripped black fishnet stockings. MMM I’m getting half staff just thinking about it…ok that may have been too much info let me get focused back on this story. So were all sitting on the couch in my living room playing T or D. It doesn’t take long before things get heated. The first couple of dares had us all making out with each other, then slowly but surely articles of clothing were coming off. Just as it’s my turn to dare one of the girls, I excuse myself because I had to go pee like a racehorse. By the time I got back the girls were half naked and making out while dry humping each other. They look up at me and Erin asks if we can move this game to my bedroom. I grab the case of beer and tell her I thought you would never ask. Katie reminds me that I still have a dare to give out before we head to my room. While I start thinking of who and what to dare, the girls go right back at each other. It was so soft and delicate but at the same time rough and aggressive. You really can learn a lot about satisfying a woman from another woman, trust me I was taking lots of mental notes. Also as I watched this lascivious combo of a blonde and brunette girl all over each other, this was the moment I came up with my theory of uppers and downers being just like one or the other (first paragraph). All I wanted to do was just snort both of those sexy bitches right up. So as fun as it was to watch these two hotties explore each other’s bodies I was ready to dive in this pool of sexuality. Then I made a brave and possibly risky move, I tell the girls that I have a dare ready but its for both of them. They agree and without hesitation I dare one of them to suck my cock while at the same time the other licks my balls and they could choose who did what. I wasn’t sure if it was still too early to pull that one out but hey I figured these girls were wasted and horny enough that I could pretty much get away with anything. Luckily it worked, these two freaks were all about it. Not only did they agree to my dare they decide to rotate positions halfway through…that may have been the best two minutes of my life. Then just as I was really getting into it Katie stands up grabbing my throbbing hard cock with one hand and Erin’s wrist with the other, she proceeds to lead us to my bedroom almost as if we were on a leash. This was the wildest sexual experience I have ever had. We tried so many fun and random acts, some of which I didn’t think were physically possible. I must of cum six or seven times that night, even after Katie fell asleep Erin was still asking me to fuck her. The next day I wake up after about an hour and a half of sleep, my penis was extremely sore and felt like it had been used as a power tool the night before. But it didn’t matter I felt great and had a surprising amount of energy. Unfortunately as I drive to work, somehow someway Layla made it back into my thoughts. I started to think about the threesome I passed up while I was with her and it made me so bitter that she had that much control over me. I wasn’t sure what made me angrier the fact that I missed out on that threesome or that fact that I passed it up for the wrong girl. This was when I realized no matter how lucky my nights were the next day I was always lonely. Ya I know, it sounds like I’m being a little bitch, I mean I just had a threesome with two hot ass girls and I'm complaining about being lonely, oh and by the way I have a great girlfriend too. Well I guess I was being a bitch because the more I thought about it the more I realized that ill never meet another Layla. Looking back I see that was exactly the problem, I was looking for another Layla not another girl. The fact that I was not happy with what I had was very depressing to me which in turn made me angry and that led me right back to being lonely and thinking of Layla. It was a sad cycle that repeated in my mind daily.

I continued my felationship (fake relationship) with Shannon and kept sleeping with Katie on the side, we even had another awesome threesome. Though as time went on I was becoming more and more apathetic about both girls. I probably should and would of ended things earlier with them, but what can I say I was comfortable and did not want to ruin a good thing. I mean let’s get serious I was living the playboy dream day by day by day. Unfortunately with dreams come nightmares and my nightmares were my never-ending thoughts of Layla. I assume I would of continued doing everything I was doing for a long time but then a few random things all happened around the same time and once again my life was about to completely change.

All right first of all my lease was up at my place, I had been living in an apartment with my good friend Jordan. He was the perfect roommate for me for two reasons first he was always at his girlfriends/future wife’s condo, so I pretty much had the place to myself. As for the second and much more important reason he didn’t do any drugs, well he smoked pot here and there but you already how I feel about that. At that point in my life I didn’t realize the kind of influence (both good and bad) a roommate could have on you, although I would soon find out. But the important thing about me preparing to move was that this was the moment I started to write my book. Before I even knew where I was going to move I started to pack up some stuff, during that process I find my “life outline” and notes I wrote during my day of meditation and reflection. So instead of packing up more stuff I grabbed a mead black and white notebook from my closet, ripped out the first few pages that were full of notes from some class that I must have either dropped out of or just gave up on because the rest of it was completely empty, then I began my journey that has led me here to you. I didn’t get much writing done but I did finally start and I quickly learned that this whole writing about my life thing was a great way to release tension, I could feel deep in my bones this was a book I had to finish even if it does take years and even if nobody else ever reads it. Back then none of this mattered to me however I must admit now my biggest fear is that my book, THESE WORDS, that I have put my heart, soul and briskly decreasing brain-cells in, will not be read. That these thoughts like my final speech to Layla will forever go unheard. But Something about the ideation of you, yes you personally, ok not really you personally but the proverbial you reading this gives me a high, it feels very eminent. Chasing this high will eventually prove to save my life. But before we get there we have to talk about the other events that were changing in my life.

Ok lets get the girls out of the way first. Katie tells me she is going to move back to Washington State because she was partying too hard and doing too much blow. She reminded me of a not so much younger version of myself. Running from problems that would inevitably just catch up. As Katie tells me this I instantly think back to my time in Miami and why I left, then I conceive my theory about running from problems and the speed in which they catch up. “Shit I should put that in my book” was the thought running through my head while Katie jibber-jabbered about her problems and why she was moving back. I’m telling you this because this was basically the way my book started to come to life. The little mental notes of life that constantly and sometimes annoyingly rattled in my head were coming to life on paper and with each word I wrote came a release of stress. I felt like I had a lot to share, maybe some of my dumb ass decisions could help others make some not so dumb ass decision or even the flip side maybe some of my good moves could persuade others to do the same, actually screw that. Who the hell am I to influence you, make some bad decisions, and live a little. Everyone has there own path but like I said before this story is one of a kind and at the same time very common a lot of people can relate to the trials of my personal quarter life crisis. Sure the exact issues may be different but the outlining problems are basically the same. Specially if you’re young and a little crazy, and trust me there are a lot of us out there.

Now the scenario with Shannon was very complicated. In her eyes we were an utterly happy and committed couple. I’m not sure where she got that idea from, maybe it had something to do with the fact that I totally bullshitted her and led her to believe we were monogamous (ya that might have had something to do with it). Once Katie left I quickly start to freak out about how serious Shannon and me have become, or at least how serious we were from her perspective. I didn’t know what to do. On one hand I have a hot, fun girl that I like but on the other hand I knew I was not in love with her and even though I hadn’t seen Layla in well over a year, my heart was still in mourning. I knew it was going to take more time and definitely a lot more girls before I was truly over Layla. This was not a fair way to treat Shannon. I began to feel exceedingly bad about the web of lies I’ve created in this “felationship”. I kept trying to figure a way that I could bow out gracefully. You know to actually have a good break up with a girl for once not one where we want to kill each other afterwards. Sadly though I still stayed with Shannon, I would like to say that it was because I didn’t want to hurt her, but honestly I knew what I was doing would just cause her more pain in the long run. Writing this right now I realize it was just because of my own selfish reasons. I was too pussy to leave Shannon. I was scared to be alone, the reality of not having Layla and not having anyone else was one I did not want to face. This is why I believe everyone should write a book about their life, because it undeniably helps you understand the decisions you have made as you travel your path, even if it sometimes is a choice you regret.

So what did I end up doing about it? Well I did nothing. Just as I found a new place to live Shannon tells me that the kids she coached have made some big national tournament and she would be traveling all across the east coast with them for the next 8 weeks. When I asked if she was going to be coming home at all, she said she might be back one weekend in the middle of the tourney if she was lucky. Of course I acted totally distraught about all this but inside I figured this was a good thing, hoping somehow everything would work itself out over the next couple of months. All right, here we are, my girls are gone and I’m moving. Its time for me to begin a new chapter and now it is time for you to do the same. As fatuous and insane as my life has been, nothing could of prepared me for the mad journey I was about to embark on. It was called the CUSTOM HOUSE and it was the craziest motherfuckers you’ve ever seen doing the dumbest shit you’ve ever heard of.

CHAPTER 10 HOLLYWOODS OF OC