CHAPTER 6 THE CONVERSION
My life was never the same after that kiss. Things started to change; I was seeing Layla more and more often. I was putting in a lot of QT (quality time) but not reeking any of the benefits. I find out that Layla is a prude or at least making me work very hard for it. Over the next couple of months I repeatedly try to sleep with her but never get past second base. Honestly it didn’t bother me, she was so cool and fun to hang out with that time with her always seemed to just fly by. I could lay down with her for hours and get lost in her spirit. She was like a great drug I just always wanted more. Seeing her would relax me and touching her would excite me. I had never felt like this before, to me she was the perfect girl.
Even though by this point Layla and I had not had the monogamy conversation, you know the usually premature talk with your not so significant other to determine if either one of you are seeing anyone else or need to cut off any loose ends. Yeah, that talk was still to be had, but regardless I quickly cut off any girl I was hooking up with and any seeds I was planting. I was really falling for her; I don’t understand why all women don’t make guys wait like she did. I mean thank God they don’t but truth be told if I had slept with her that night on the Fourth I would not have been head over heels for this girl. It was so strange to me I just didn’t want anyone else.
Even with Luisa my mind, eyes and cock wondered sometimes but now I wouldn’t notice a hot chick right in front of me. The way I saw it, there were two types of girls in this world, there was her and then there was everyone else. Now I can’t emphasize how odd it was to truly want to and be faithful to a girl. The ultimate defining moment came when I took a little trip. I had made plans a long time ago to go visit some of my friends down in Miami. So big Sean and I head down for the weekend. The first night was a blast I saw a lot of old friends and got real wasted. There was lots of reminiscing and even more drinking. But the real test came the second night. I decided to call Luisa, we were still good friends even though she knew I was seeing someone seriously (you know S cubed) and I knew she had a boyfriend.
Though we probably shouldn’t be hanging out we still made plans to see each other that night. Before I tell any more of this story I have to go back a little. Remember when I said that Luisa almost let me have threesomes with her and other girls. Yeah, that’s right you were waiting for this part. Anyway she was always curious about girls and I sure as hell was pushing for her to fulfill her sexual desire. So I got to watch her and other girls get wild and eventually got to hook up with the two of them but I was never allowed to have sex with the girl or cum in her mouth. These were Luisa’s two main rules. If it were up to me I would have totally broken those rules but hey I was happy enough with what I was getting.
I’ve always felt that all girls are a few years and about three drinks away from becoming bi-curious. But I digress, and even if I know it’s wrong to go see Luisa I still can’t help it. Big Sean goes out with some other people he knew down there and I meet up with my old friend KP. He was a wild crazy dude that I went to high school with and convinced to move to Miami. He was always a good friend and always up to no good it was a fun combo to hang out with. KP and I head over to Luisa's condo on South Beach. We start drinking with her and her roommate. We catch up a bit; I find out that Luisa and her man are on a break right now. She is very anti-guy and has pretty much become a fulltime carpet muncher. Luisa’s roommate, who by the way is her female fling, keeps throwing out comments about Luisa’s boyfriend. He doesn’t like her hooking up with girls, he would never have a threesome with them, and he’s boring and possessive, and so on and so on.
So with a devilish half smile I say to them how crazy I think that is and remind them that even though I was a little too overprotective myself, I never cared if Luisa had a little twat action on the side. We start playing drinking games as we wait for the long process of the girls getting ready to go out. And by playing drinking games I mean getting absolutely wasted, this is when a lot of insinuating comments come out between the two girls and I. They tell me that they really want a guy to have a threesome with but it has to be somebody they both trust and the only guys they trust are gay. Well what could I do? It was almost heaven sent, right? How could I do anything but what I did and that was to agree to a verbal contract for a threesome with these two hot freakalicous young ladies later in the night. As I start to imagine in my mind the three of us living out a much kinkier version of Wild Things the movie, a strange sensation starts in my gut and works its way up my spine to my head. It was guilt, an odd feeling I was not so used to. Layla quickly pops in my head. That gorgeous vixen has cast some sort of spell on me or at least that was what it felt like. I try my best to get over it; the shots of tequila were really helping so I was slowly succeeding. But then something else happened. One of Luisa’s many gay guy friends comes by her place. He was a flamboyant but funny and cool dude I met once before. I remember I had bought some yac from him right before I moved and I also remember that it was amazing.
Well as soon as he walks in he goes straight to the table and pulls out an eight ball of fine Miami cocaine powder. As the out of town guest he offers me the first line. Or Hollywood I should say because he broke the whole ball up in 10 lines. It had been a long time since I did a bump of coke let alone a gagger like that. As I’m sitting there trying to explain to everyone how it has been a while since I’ve done any hardcore drugs I am interrupted quickly by my boy KP calling me a pussy and asking Luisa if she had any extra tampons for me. All of this was said while he was rolling up a bill and making his way to the table. After KP takes his line I take his advice and man up. I blow a huge line up my left nostril and chase it with an even bigger on up my right. As that one of a kind drip start to come up my nasal and down through my throat I start to get a little pep in my step.
Right around this time the girls were just about finished getting dressed and we head out to the club. I’m fucked up and rolling through the streets of Miami with a couple of hot chicks that want to use me as their dick in a jar. Everything is great right. Wrong. About two minutes and two drips later all I see is the one vision that’s been imprinted in my head. All I could do was think about Layla. On the way to club, at the door, at the bar even when I go to the bathroom to do more bumps all I do is think about my queen at home. I try to call her like 50 times but her phone goes straight to her answering machine, I then realize it’s like 4 in the morning and like a good girl she is asleep. Probably dreaming about me meanwhile I am in this dirty town planning dirty things and doing even dirtier drugs. I felt so bad I had to do something. So I pull Luisa aside and for some odd reason tell her that I love Layla, and I shouldn’t be here and there is no way I can have a threesome with her tonight. Luisa being the great caring person she is reacted so cool about everything. I could tell she was actually proud of me. Luisa told me to calm down. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and went on her marry way. I ended up just leaving and getting a hotel room with my boy and eventually passing out. Wow this was is it, the beginning of the conversion. I just turned down a threesome with two hot girls, are you kidding me? What could make me do such a thing, well it’s what makes men do most of the dumb things in their life: It was love.
I love Layla, holy shit I am really in love. I didn’t know how to feel it was strange I want to celebrate and cry at the same time. What I did know was that I had to get back up to Virginia and let Layla know exactly how I felt.
The next day I have my flight back to NOVA. The site of seeing Layla at the airport will forever be encoded in my thoughts. She was wearing a tight black shirt with a camouflage short skirt, her hands had a fresh French manicure and of course her pedicure matched in a sexy pair of open toe high heels. As I walk up to her she moves her big black Prada glasses off her face and BAM that right there is the mental photo I will always have of her. Any questions or doubts I had in my head were all answered in that instance. I had to tell Layla how I felt about her but we weren’t even officially a couple yet and even stranger we still had not had sex (about a dozen hand jobs but that was it). So on the ride home from the airport I didn’t tell Layla how madly in love I was with her and I definitely did not tell her about the experience with Luisa. I just told her about the beach, the clubs and some random celebrities I saw. One of which was José Canseco who was totally eye fucking me and it was freaking me out, I think that dude might be a switch hitter if you know what I mean.
Anyway Layla had to go to some family thing so she just dropped me off. Leaving me with two things to unpack, my luggage and my thoughts. The next night we made plans to go out to the Shark Bar, and as soon as I got there I start getting very wasted for two reasons. One I knew the bartender and how can you say no to free shots and two to build up enough liquid courage so I can tell this Goddess I want her to be all mine. About seven drinks later I’m ready. I pull Layla aside and start to explain to her how she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and that she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside and that is a quality impossible to find with a girl as hot as her. I fumble around with some more lovey-dovey comments and she stops me mid conversation by kissing me, she could tell how drunk/nervous I was. Layla said she had been waiting for this talk too and that I didn’t need to say anymore.
She was always so calm and smooth it was almost as if life was a movie she had already seen and she always knew what was next. That confidence in her demeanor and tone was always soothing to my spirit. I go back to the bar and she goes back to dancing with her girlfriends. About thirty minutes and two drinks later Layla comes up to me and says “I’m ready.” Well of course I have no clue what she is talking about but Layla just looks at me a few moments later and says again “I’m ready.” It takes me a second but then the look in her eyes told me exactly what she meant. CHECK PLEASE!! I start to move at hypersonic speed to close my tab and get the hell out of there because I just realize that Layla is finally ready for something I have been ready for a long time. Sweet passionate sex. But as I'm closing up I hear Layla's phone ring and I could just feel it deep in my bones that it was bad news for me. Unfortunately I was right it was her friend Parisa on the phone and she was drunk somewhere and desperately needs a ride. Layla was sober and obviously a good friend because she told her she would be right there. This sucked because Parisa was far away and Layla had already told me that she couldn’t stay the night out tonight. She kissed me and said that she would make it up to me next time we saw each other and then she left. At first I was very upset but the fact that she was such a faithful friend to her girl was a good quality and I admired that about her. Besides I had waited this long another day or two wouldn’t kill me. The main agenda has been completed, I told her how I felt and she did the same. Now I was in a serious relationship with the girl I love.
CHAPTER 7 THE GODDESS OF LOVE ENTERS MY LIFE
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
CHAPTER 5 and 5 1/2
CHAPTER 5 THE PLAN
All right now I am back living with my folks, before I get to the plan I will give you a quick overview of my family. I lived with my mom, stepfather, 2 stepsisters and a stepbrother. My biological brother and one other stepsister had moved out. They were older and managed not to come back with their tales in between their legs like yours truly. As for my real dad he has been out of the picture since I was two and like I said before, my mom remarried when I was in the middle of high school. All this is a story on its own but right now who really cares about that story besides I said quick overview. So in general the house was fairly ok, I got a long pretty well with everyone. But how can you go from living in downtown Miami with a great wingman as a roommate and an endless sea of hot women around to the suburbs of Northern Virginia with parents as roommates and a lot of old fat people everywhere. I know it sounds harsh but these were the thoughts of a twenty-two year old, or at least this twenty-two years old. Well to the question of how do you do this, the answer is you do it with a sad depressed look on your face. The first few weeks were really tough on me. I can remember a couple of mornings I would wake up and for the first few seconds I forgot I moved back and thought I was waking up to that sweet Florida sun. But realizing where I was made me want to cry, I know boo hoo poor guy gets to go home and live for free in a fairly nice house, sounds real tough huh. Well it actually was, I felt my pride had taken a big hit and a man’s pride like his balls can hurt more than anything in the world if it takes a bad hit. I felt that I failed. I wasn’t in school, I had no girl and now I was back home. In my mind at the time I was the epidemie of a loser. I had to do something; I needed some sort of stability in my life. I needed a plan.
First of all no drugs, and by drugs I mean everything except pot (which I personally don’t consider a drug). Second school, I had to figure out what I was going to do with school because that is what society especially my family has instilled in me. And third was money I needed a job it was just that simple.
So as far as the drugs go I was clean and instantly I get a job at a local restaurant. Things seemed to have a good start for me but now it was time for school, which I just hated at this point in my life. There was no way I was going back to community college I would rather work at McDonalds for the rest of my life. Basically I realized college life was not for me but I had to do something there had to be some middle ground to keep my family and me happy. It took a while for me to figure out what I wanted to do, and then finally I enrolled in a computer-training program. I’ve always been interested in computers and fairly savvy with them so I figure this was the path for me. Honestly I enjoyed the courses, it was interesting and sometimes even fun. I learned about computer hardware, software and basic operating systems. I even learned how to take a computer apart and put it back together (with a little guidance that is). So I felt pleased with my decision. I breezed through my first few courses, receiving my A+ and NET+ certifications. Which is computer mumbo jumbo for knowing the basics of computers and computer networking. I spend almost all my time either at work or at school, and for the first time in my life I was saving money. I would go out once in a while but nothing too crazy, I guess it is a lot easier to save money when drop an expensive vice like drugs. One other factor in my life was that I had no girlfriend, I wasn’t dating anyone and really I had no leads that I was working on. Back then this was really bothering me, I wanted a girlfriend or at least a nice friend with benefits. It seems human nature that when you start to settle your life you, well, want to settle down. It’s funny because looking back this was a very peaceful time in my life. Not having a girlfriend is like losing your cell phone, at first you freak out and feel lost but sometimes you realize that the very thing you feel you need can be just an unnecessary stress. But nevertheless there were phone calls to be made and sex to be had.
But I can’t forget about my game plan I’ve got to follow through as much as I can. So now I’m making good money at the restaurant and taking part time courses to become MCSE (Microsoft certified systems engineer). These courses were not as fun as my first few and by this point in networking studies things were getting real tough real fast. My life was stable and much more organized than ever. . I totally took myself out of any party scene and just did my own thing. A simpler way to put it is I was living a boring lifestyle. But the problem with me, the problem that triggers the gun of my quarter life crisis is that unsatisfying feeling of consistency. I was too complacent in my life and it was driving me even crazier than the drugs were when I partied like a rock star. I become so bored that I decide to take a baby step towards having some fun, but unfortunately fun comes with a co-signer named trouble. At first I just figure I would start to go out a little more, you know maybe finally take up some of those invitations to party with the people I worked with. But this was not just a simple decision of going out with some friends this was a loss in a battle of my own will. Slowly but surely things were changing again.
CHAPTER 5 1/2 THINGS DON’T ALWAYS GO AS PLANNED
With that first baby step came a few giant leaps. Once again I realize that to party more I need to work more and I could just feel myself back in the same cycle I was in down in Florida. Luckily the crowd I was hanging out with were just potheads and a few raging alcoholics no real drug users. Which was really great for me because even though I did start to go out a lot it was pretty much always just to get drunk not all sorts of twisted like I used to. With drugs out of the scene and school becoming farther and farther from my mind I start to focus on my true addiction GIRLS! When your 22 and fairly easy on the eyes the recipe to success with the ladies is simple, job + car + your own place + game = pussy galore and I’m not talking about a Bond flick. I had a job, I had a car not a great ride but not too shabby. Thank God I was blessed with the game always said the right line. That is a Too Short quote meaning I have always had the ability to talk to girls (even really hot ones) without being too intimidated or stumbling over my own words. So I have three of the four checked off but I’m missing the most important. My own place. I was still living with my family and this was a big no-no. What good is having game if you don’t have home field advantage?
At this point I had some friends (the smart ones at least) that were looking into buying their own townhouse or condo, which of course is the logical thing to do, but I do not possess that resolve. I can’t think 3 months down the road let alone three to five years. So I decide to just shit my money down the toilet every month and start to look for a place to rent and find some good wingmen to live with. I find a cool little apartment in the heart of Fairfax city in Virginia with two of my good friends, Johnny and Big Sean, which I had known since middle school. They were trust worthy guys and total playboys so it was a win-win situation. It was a descent sized three-bedroom apartment not too fancy but just perfect for us. Even my parents were happy because I was only about twenty minutes away from them. Ok so instantly we turn our place into party central actually more like after party central. I had forgotten how easy that equation was when you have the fourth and final piece. So I start to meet a lot a of cool girls I had some hook ups, but for better or worse when you have more options your start to become more picky and I really was not head over heels about anyone I had met so far. But it was ok I was having a blast living it up, I decide to take some time off from my MCSE courses to save money and work a little more. I know what you’re thinking but at the time it sounded like a good idea. So now I live on my own I have a two great wingmen to reside with and I’m not using any real drugs. Life is good and the women flow in and out of our place like water through the Mississippi river.
As you can see I’m really enjoying myself this was an exciting but not too crazy point in my life. Now we are about to embark on what I call THE WEEK THAT WAS. It was a magically delicious week that would forever be instilled in me. It was the heavens, the stars and the Gods all-aligning together to help me get what I wanted. It was simply the perfect storm of females. The week starts with me hanging out with this girl I had been kind of dating at work (Emily I believe it was) nothing special just some chick that works part time at my restaurant, anyway after about a month of trying I finally had sex with her on that Monday, and like I said nothing special. Then the next day I get a call from my ex girlfriend Luisa saying she was in town for a couple of days for her moms birthday. So that night she invites me out to dinner with her and her mom, Luisa’s mom always loved me because to this day I would still score her some pot. I was not expecting anything that night other than dinner. Well dinner was great but I had no idea of the dessert I was about to get. After we ate Luisa came back to my place, we topped of a bottle of wine and proceeded to have wild ex sex.
You know ex sex where you just take out all the frustrations the other person caused you in the past. It was very intense, extremely rough and lasted all night. Ex sex is very much like make up sex but even better, I’m sure there are some of you reading this right now and nodding your head up and down now because you have experienced it firsthand. So now it is Wednesday I was going to see Luisa again tonight but she made plans with some old girlfriends of hers so I just do my own thing, while at work I hear of a house party one of the bartenders is throwing so I decide to check it out. The party was all right nothing to crazy but still fun. One of our younger hostesses is at the party and she was with an interesting friend, she is with a foreign exchange student from Spain that is staying with her family. The girl (Carmen) is nice, she can’t speak much English and is still in high school but she is God damn fine. I notice an instant attraction so I make small talk, luckily I had learned a descent amount of Spanish in Miami, you pretty much have no choice English it seems is the second language down there. Well were really hitting it off and by the end of the party we were making out in some random bedroom, but soon after that the hostess she was staying with had to leave and take Carmen with her. Wisely somehow with our combined “Spanglish” I had made plans to take her out the next night. Then my Spanish princess left and, soon after I did the same so I could head home and plan my big date to come. On Thursday I go to pick her up and I actually had to go inside the house and meet hostess’s parents. By the way I keep calling her the hostess because for the life of me I cannot remember her name, but I digress. Surprisingly the parents were cool even though they knew I was a little older. I guess as long as it was not their daughter. Right. After a little light Q and A with the host parents the two of us head out to dinner. It was definitely much more awkward trying to communicate with this girl when I was sober.
Dinner was odd and over in a hurry we both needed to loosen up a little so we head back to my place for drinks and a movie. Then I basically spent the rest of the night trying to put my cock in this girl but she just would not let me, I mean I was throwing out my gold material here and she was just fighting it all off. After what seemed at least two hours of me failing to sleep with her she threw me for a total loop and proceeded to give me a blowjob. I’m still not sure if it was because she wanted to or because she could see my balls getting bluer by the moment or even if it was just a contingency prize for me putting out so much effort. Honestly I didn’t care why because that sweet little Spaniard sucked my cock like a venomous snake had bit it and she was trying to get the poison out. It was great for obvious reasons but more importantly this was a defining moment in my young life because this was when it hit me like a ton of bricks that sometimes it is just better to get a blowjob than to actually have sex with a girl. I think a lot of guys reach this moment at some point in their life, I mean it was all the pleasure with half of the guilt you can’t beat that. Eventually I drunkenly drive Carmen home she was going to be in the states for the next month so I was sure I would see her again. Well then it was Friday and even though I had been getting hammered all week and had to work a double shift that day. Like a true wannabe rock star I decide to go out again. I hit up some local bar with the roommates after I get off work. Big Sean and Johnny were great to have out at a bar because they were much better at the initial meet and greet than I was. So right off the bat Big Sean (we call him that because he was a big lineman on the football team back in high school) starts talking to a group of girls and soon enough we all end up around each other just shooting the shit and taking shots. One of the girls kept eye fucking me so it was my duty to focus on her more than her friends. This chick was pretty cool and extremely hammered. She was kind of punk rock, a lot of tattoos and too many piercings for my liking but the more I drank the sexier it all became. Even though it sucks that in VA last call is at 1:30 a.m., it can sometimes work to your advantage because if you’re out and having a good time nobody wants to stop partying and it is a great way to get girls back to your place. Well we do just that we get the three girls to come back to our place and now we have a three on three half-court game. I don’t remember much of that night, I don’t even remember her name but I do know we did have sex and I did wear a condom. I guess those are the only two things that really matter. So back to the week that was or is at this point, I just couldn’t believe the luck I’ve had so far this had been the best few days of my life. Maybe to a very rich or famous guy or even a guy that looks like Brad Pitt this might be a normal if not slow week but to an average dude like me this was amazing and eye opening. All regular guys reading this should know that weeks like this are possible all the time. It just takes a little bit of luck, some hard work and a whole lot of alcohol. Also most important you just have to believe because this was all of my focus at the time and I was finally seeing the end results of it. I guess in hindsight I should have focused on something more productive for my future but fuck that this was fun. Ironically even though I would not touch another girl for the rest of the weekend the most important and magical part of the week that was is still to come.
Ok so I woke up Saturday extremely hung over the only good sensation I felt was when I noticed old what’s her face had already left, a piece of paper with ten digits on it being the only remnants of her. But I couldn’t even focus on that I had to get up and work another damn double that day. This time I told myself I was not going to go out that night but unfortunately with me that is always easier said than done, because as soon as ten o’clock came strolling around I was finishing up at work and getting my second wind to go out that night. I finish my side work and roll all of my (what seemed to be a thousand) silverware, these being the glorious final duties of a server. One of my cousins and some of our boys were going out to a local pool hall not too far from me. I get home shower up and get myself so fresh and so clean then head right on down to meet up with the guys. The place was ok but not really crowded and besides I never really like to play billiards. So I’m doing my usual scan of the place, you know very Terminator like, getting readings on people, my main mission being scoping out single girls.
After a few minutes of scanning I see a familiar face. It’s Parisa. Remember the two girls that stayed with me in Miami right before I left? She was the friend of the girl with perfect toes. Parisa was a tall gorgeous girl but ever since we met in Miami it was obvious there was just no attraction between us I think it’s because I was too short for her or she was too tall for me I guess it depends on what angle you look from but regardless she was a cool down ass girl. I go over to say hi wondering if she will even remember me (it had been just over a year since we last saw each other). To my surprise she jumps up as soon as she sees me and gives me a big hug, as if we never lost a beat. We talk for a while she tells me all about school and that she is actually working right now at the pool hall as a cocktail waitress. We reminisce a lot about her trip to south beach she tells me that Layla will be happy to hear that she saw me.
BOOM instantly I start thinking about Layla, for some reason that girl always left an imprint in my mind. I wonder what she is doing; I wonder if she has a boyfriend, I wonder if she is really as crazy sexy cool as I think she is. Well of course there is no way that I would ask her friend any of these things so I did the next best thing and invited the two of them to my friends barbeque the next day. We exchange numbers and she gets back to work. I can still remember vividly how boring the rest of that night was to me, all I could think about was what the odds were that they would actually come out the next day. I left early and went home still with the thought of Layla in the back of my head. On Sunday Parisa called me fairly early in the morning to let me know that they are coming out to the barbeque. I got straight up and was strangely excited and nervous to see them, my palms were sweating, as I was getting ready to head out to my friends house. Then the big moment came I was going to see this chick that had been in my thoughts for a while. I had to figure out why she made such an impression and this time around I could actually think clear, my mind wasn’t absolute mush like the first time we met. Finally I see her and she is as fucking beautiful as I remember, actually she is even hotter than I thought.
After the bullshit small talk I immediately start to throw out some moves at her to see if she is picking up what I’m putting down, and she definitely was not. The more I hit on her the less interest she shows so I quickly stop. I soon realize that we know some of the same people she actually seems to know all of my friends. I even see here flirting with some of them, now this was bad she was showing me no attention and man did it make me want her even more. We talked a little bit at that barbeque, we even exchanged numbers but it was as if it was a platonic friendly number drop, not the here is my number lets fuck someday way. Other than that I didn’t really say much to her. So this was the strange twist to the end of “the week that was” I saw Layla and not only forgot about those girls from earlier in the week I seemed to have forgot any other girl even exists. It was pretty funny that I was finally starting to become the playboy I always wanted to be but all I could think about was this enigma of a woman.
One of life’s funny little ironies I guess. And as an extra little twist she was showing no interest in me. I completely became focused on Layla and my pursuit of her but I couldn’t show her at all. I spend the next few weeks hanging out a lot with Layla and Parisa, totally playing the I’m just a friend role with both of them maybe even more so with Layla. I was always nice and courteous but never flirty or complimentary. I later find out this move is very similar to what’s called the “neg” in a great book called The Game. I wasn’t sure if my plan was working but either way I had a blast partying with these girls, we would go out to clubs and bars but sometimes we would all just chill around and smoke some sweet ganja. They were like my boys except they were two hot girls. The more I saw Layla the more I needed her and it was starting to get very difficult to hide my feelings, but after a little while I could feel a little bit of sexual tension between us I could tell that she was wondering why I never hit on her anymore. It was like I was playing her game and finally I was starting to win.
Then surprisingly it happened. It was the Fourth of July and we went to some big party and got pretty trashed. Fairly late into the night Layla came up to me, she didn’t even say a word she just grabbed my hand and led me into a bedroom. It’s funny because I was pretty drunk but as soon as she grabbed me all my adrenaline started to flow and I quickly sobered up. She sits me down on the bed, straddles me and we start to make out. My lord it was fucking amazing, this was the perfect kiss and I never wanted it to end, but she stops soon after. Layla pulls back, looks me in the eye and asks me what my favorite color is. Yea, that’s right I was as confused as you are. So all I could do was answer back “red” with a perplexed look on my face. She quickly grabs me and we start to make out again. I was so nervous about this but at the same time it all felt so right, it was a seesaw of emotion. I remember telling her I had been waiting for this moment for so long and now that’s it’s finally here I don’t know how to act.
Layla just rubbed my stubble of a beard with her two hands and told me to act like myself. So about ten seconds into our next make out session I try to slide her hand down toward my cock to see if she starts a little up and down motion. It’s a pretty standard classic move. But she abruptly pulls her hand away and tells me not to act too much like myself. The two of us stay the night in the room, I spend the next few hours kissing those scrumptious lips and answering more offbeat questions about myself
CHAPTER 6 THE CONVERSION
All right now I am back living with my folks, before I get to the plan I will give you a quick overview of my family. I lived with my mom, stepfather, 2 stepsisters and a stepbrother. My biological brother and one other stepsister had moved out. They were older and managed not to come back with their tales in between their legs like yours truly. As for my real dad he has been out of the picture since I was two and like I said before, my mom remarried when I was in the middle of high school. All this is a story on its own but right now who really cares about that story besides I said quick overview. So in general the house was fairly ok, I got a long pretty well with everyone. But how can you go from living in downtown Miami with a great wingman as a roommate and an endless sea of hot women around to the suburbs of Northern Virginia with parents as roommates and a lot of old fat people everywhere. I know it sounds harsh but these were the thoughts of a twenty-two year old, or at least this twenty-two years old. Well to the question of how do you do this, the answer is you do it with a sad depressed look on your face. The first few weeks were really tough on me. I can remember a couple of mornings I would wake up and for the first few seconds I forgot I moved back and thought I was waking up to that sweet Florida sun. But realizing where I was made me want to cry, I know boo hoo poor guy gets to go home and live for free in a fairly nice house, sounds real tough huh. Well it actually was, I felt my pride had taken a big hit and a man’s pride like his balls can hurt more than anything in the world if it takes a bad hit. I felt that I failed. I wasn’t in school, I had no girl and now I was back home. In my mind at the time I was the epidemie of a loser. I had to do something; I needed some sort of stability in my life. I needed a plan.
First of all no drugs, and by drugs I mean everything except pot (which I personally don’t consider a drug). Second school, I had to figure out what I was going to do with school because that is what society especially my family has instilled in me. And third was money I needed a job it was just that simple.
So as far as the drugs go I was clean and instantly I get a job at a local restaurant. Things seemed to have a good start for me but now it was time for school, which I just hated at this point in my life. There was no way I was going back to community college I would rather work at McDonalds for the rest of my life. Basically I realized college life was not for me but I had to do something there had to be some middle ground to keep my family and me happy. It took a while for me to figure out what I wanted to do, and then finally I enrolled in a computer-training program. I’ve always been interested in computers and fairly savvy with them so I figure this was the path for me. Honestly I enjoyed the courses, it was interesting and sometimes even fun. I learned about computer hardware, software and basic operating systems. I even learned how to take a computer apart and put it back together (with a little guidance that is). So I felt pleased with my decision. I breezed through my first few courses, receiving my A+ and NET+ certifications. Which is computer mumbo jumbo for knowing the basics of computers and computer networking. I spend almost all my time either at work or at school, and for the first time in my life I was saving money. I would go out once in a while but nothing too crazy, I guess it is a lot easier to save money when drop an expensive vice like drugs. One other factor in my life was that I had no girlfriend, I wasn’t dating anyone and really I had no leads that I was working on. Back then this was really bothering me, I wanted a girlfriend or at least a nice friend with benefits. It seems human nature that when you start to settle your life you, well, want to settle down. It’s funny because looking back this was a very peaceful time in my life. Not having a girlfriend is like losing your cell phone, at first you freak out and feel lost but sometimes you realize that the very thing you feel you need can be just an unnecessary stress. But nevertheless there were phone calls to be made and sex to be had.
But I can’t forget about my game plan I’ve got to follow through as much as I can. So now I’m making good money at the restaurant and taking part time courses to become MCSE (Microsoft certified systems engineer). These courses were not as fun as my first few and by this point in networking studies things were getting real tough real fast. My life was stable and much more organized than ever. . I totally took myself out of any party scene and just did my own thing. A simpler way to put it is I was living a boring lifestyle. But the problem with me, the problem that triggers the gun of my quarter life crisis is that unsatisfying feeling of consistency. I was too complacent in my life and it was driving me even crazier than the drugs were when I partied like a rock star. I become so bored that I decide to take a baby step towards having some fun, but unfortunately fun comes with a co-signer named trouble. At first I just figure I would start to go out a little more, you know maybe finally take up some of those invitations to party with the people I worked with. But this was not just a simple decision of going out with some friends this was a loss in a battle of my own will. Slowly but surely things were changing again.
CHAPTER 5 1/2 THINGS DON’T ALWAYS GO AS PLANNED
With that first baby step came a few giant leaps. Once again I realize that to party more I need to work more and I could just feel myself back in the same cycle I was in down in Florida. Luckily the crowd I was hanging out with were just potheads and a few raging alcoholics no real drug users. Which was really great for me because even though I did start to go out a lot it was pretty much always just to get drunk not all sorts of twisted like I used to. With drugs out of the scene and school becoming farther and farther from my mind I start to focus on my true addiction GIRLS! When your 22 and fairly easy on the eyes the recipe to success with the ladies is simple, job + car + your own place + game = pussy galore and I’m not talking about a Bond flick. I had a job, I had a car not a great ride but not too shabby. Thank God I was blessed with the game always said the right line. That is a Too Short quote meaning I have always had the ability to talk to girls (even really hot ones) without being too intimidated or stumbling over my own words. So I have three of the four checked off but I’m missing the most important. My own place. I was still living with my family and this was a big no-no. What good is having game if you don’t have home field advantage?
At this point I had some friends (the smart ones at least) that were looking into buying their own townhouse or condo, which of course is the logical thing to do, but I do not possess that resolve. I can’t think 3 months down the road let alone three to five years. So I decide to just shit my money down the toilet every month and start to look for a place to rent and find some good wingmen to live with. I find a cool little apartment in the heart of Fairfax city in Virginia with two of my good friends, Johnny and Big Sean, which I had known since middle school. They were trust worthy guys and total playboys so it was a win-win situation. It was a descent sized three-bedroom apartment not too fancy but just perfect for us. Even my parents were happy because I was only about twenty minutes away from them. Ok so instantly we turn our place into party central actually more like after party central. I had forgotten how easy that equation was when you have the fourth and final piece. So I start to meet a lot a of cool girls I had some hook ups, but for better or worse when you have more options your start to become more picky and I really was not head over heels about anyone I had met so far. But it was ok I was having a blast living it up, I decide to take some time off from my MCSE courses to save money and work a little more. I know what you’re thinking but at the time it sounded like a good idea. So now I live on my own I have a two great wingmen to reside with and I’m not using any real drugs. Life is good and the women flow in and out of our place like water through the Mississippi river.
As you can see I’m really enjoying myself this was an exciting but not too crazy point in my life. Now we are about to embark on what I call THE WEEK THAT WAS. It was a magically delicious week that would forever be instilled in me. It was the heavens, the stars and the Gods all-aligning together to help me get what I wanted. It was simply the perfect storm of females. The week starts with me hanging out with this girl I had been kind of dating at work (Emily I believe it was) nothing special just some chick that works part time at my restaurant, anyway after about a month of trying I finally had sex with her on that Monday, and like I said nothing special. Then the next day I get a call from my ex girlfriend Luisa saying she was in town for a couple of days for her moms birthday. So that night she invites me out to dinner with her and her mom, Luisa’s mom always loved me because to this day I would still score her some pot. I was not expecting anything that night other than dinner. Well dinner was great but I had no idea of the dessert I was about to get. After we ate Luisa came back to my place, we topped of a bottle of wine and proceeded to have wild ex sex.
You know ex sex where you just take out all the frustrations the other person caused you in the past. It was very intense, extremely rough and lasted all night. Ex sex is very much like make up sex but even better, I’m sure there are some of you reading this right now and nodding your head up and down now because you have experienced it firsthand. So now it is Wednesday I was going to see Luisa again tonight but she made plans with some old girlfriends of hers so I just do my own thing, while at work I hear of a house party one of the bartenders is throwing so I decide to check it out. The party was all right nothing to crazy but still fun. One of our younger hostesses is at the party and she was with an interesting friend, she is with a foreign exchange student from Spain that is staying with her family. The girl (Carmen) is nice, she can’t speak much English and is still in high school but she is God damn fine. I notice an instant attraction so I make small talk, luckily I had learned a descent amount of Spanish in Miami, you pretty much have no choice English it seems is the second language down there. Well were really hitting it off and by the end of the party we were making out in some random bedroom, but soon after that the hostess she was staying with had to leave and take Carmen with her. Wisely somehow with our combined “Spanglish” I had made plans to take her out the next night. Then my Spanish princess left and, soon after I did the same so I could head home and plan my big date to come. On Thursday I go to pick her up and I actually had to go inside the house and meet hostess’s parents. By the way I keep calling her the hostess because for the life of me I cannot remember her name, but I digress. Surprisingly the parents were cool even though they knew I was a little older. I guess as long as it was not their daughter. Right. After a little light Q and A with the host parents the two of us head out to dinner. It was definitely much more awkward trying to communicate with this girl when I was sober.
Dinner was odd and over in a hurry we both needed to loosen up a little so we head back to my place for drinks and a movie. Then I basically spent the rest of the night trying to put my cock in this girl but she just would not let me, I mean I was throwing out my gold material here and she was just fighting it all off. After what seemed at least two hours of me failing to sleep with her she threw me for a total loop and proceeded to give me a blowjob. I’m still not sure if it was because she wanted to or because she could see my balls getting bluer by the moment or even if it was just a contingency prize for me putting out so much effort. Honestly I didn’t care why because that sweet little Spaniard sucked my cock like a venomous snake had bit it and she was trying to get the poison out. It was great for obvious reasons but more importantly this was a defining moment in my young life because this was when it hit me like a ton of bricks that sometimes it is just better to get a blowjob than to actually have sex with a girl. I think a lot of guys reach this moment at some point in their life, I mean it was all the pleasure with half of the guilt you can’t beat that. Eventually I drunkenly drive Carmen home she was going to be in the states for the next month so I was sure I would see her again. Well then it was Friday and even though I had been getting hammered all week and had to work a double shift that day. Like a true wannabe rock star I decide to go out again. I hit up some local bar with the roommates after I get off work. Big Sean and Johnny were great to have out at a bar because they were much better at the initial meet and greet than I was. So right off the bat Big Sean (we call him that because he was a big lineman on the football team back in high school) starts talking to a group of girls and soon enough we all end up around each other just shooting the shit and taking shots. One of the girls kept eye fucking me so it was my duty to focus on her more than her friends. This chick was pretty cool and extremely hammered. She was kind of punk rock, a lot of tattoos and too many piercings for my liking but the more I drank the sexier it all became. Even though it sucks that in VA last call is at 1:30 a.m., it can sometimes work to your advantage because if you’re out and having a good time nobody wants to stop partying and it is a great way to get girls back to your place. Well we do just that we get the three girls to come back to our place and now we have a three on three half-court game. I don’t remember much of that night, I don’t even remember her name but I do know we did have sex and I did wear a condom. I guess those are the only two things that really matter. So back to the week that was or is at this point, I just couldn’t believe the luck I’ve had so far this had been the best few days of my life. Maybe to a very rich or famous guy or even a guy that looks like Brad Pitt this might be a normal if not slow week but to an average dude like me this was amazing and eye opening. All regular guys reading this should know that weeks like this are possible all the time. It just takes a little bit of luck, some hard work and a whole lot of alcohol. Also most important you just have to believe because this was all of my focus at the time and I was finally seeing the end results of it. I guess in hindsight I should have focused on something more productive for my future but fuck that this was fun. Ironically even though I would not touch another girl for the rest of the weekend the most important and magical part of the week that was is still to come.
Ok so I woke up Saturday extremely hung over the only good sensation I felt was when I noticed old what’s her face had already left, a piece of paper with ten digits on it being the only remnants of her. But I couldn’t even focus on that I had to get up and work another damn double that day. This time I told myself I was not going to go out that night but unfortunately with me that is always easier said than done, because as soon as ten o’clock came strolling around I was finishing up at work and getting my second wind to go out that night. I finish my side work and roll all of my (what seemed to be a thousand) silverware, these being the glorious final duties of a server. One of my cousins and some of our boys were going out to a local pool hall not too far from me. I get home shower up and get myself so fresh and so clean then head right on down to meet up with the guys. The place was ok but not really crowded and besides I never really like to play billiards. So I’m doing my usual scan of the place, you know very Terminator like, getting readings on people, my main mission being scoping out single girls.
After a few minutes of scanning I see a familiar face. It’s Parisa. Remember the two girls that stayed with me in Miami right before I left? She was the friend of the girl with perfect toes. Parisa was a tall gorgeous girl but ever since we met in Miami it was obvious there was just no attraction between us I think it’s because I was too short for her or she was too tall for me I guess it depends on what angle you look from but regardless she was a cool down ass girl. I go over to say hi wondering if she will even remember me (it had been just over a year since we last saw each other). To my surprise she jumps up as soon as she sees me and gives me a big hug, as if we never lost a beat. We talk for a while she tells me all about school and that she is actually working right now at the pool hall as a cocktail waitress. We reminisce a lot about her trip to south beach she tells me that Layla will be happy to hear that she saw me.
BOOM instantly I start thinking about Layla, for some reason that girl always left an imprint in my mind. I wonder what she is doing; I wonder if she has a boyfriend, I wonder if she is really as crazy sexy cool as I think she is. Well of course there is no way that I would ask her friend any of these things so I did the next best thing and invited the two of them to my friends barbeque the next day. We exchange numbers and she gets back to work. I can still remember vividly how boring the rest of that night was to me, all I could think about was what the odds were that they would actually come out the next day. I left early and went home still with the thought of Layla in the back of my head. On Sunday Parisa called me fairly early in the morning to let me know that they are coming out to the barbeque. I got straight up and was strangely excited and nervous to see them, my palms were sweating, as I was getting ready to head out to my friends house. Then the big moment came I was going to see this chick that had been in my thoughts for a while. I had to figure out why she made such an impression and this time around I could actually think clear, my mind wasn’t absolute mush like the first time we met. Finally I see her and she is as fucking beautiful as I remember, actually she is even hotter than I thought.
After the bullshit small talk I immediately start to throw out some moves at her to see if she is picking up what I’m putting down, and she definitely was not. The more I hit on her the less interest she shows so I quickly stop. I soon realize that we know some of the same people she actually seems to know all of my friends. I even see here flirting with some of them, now this was bad she was showing me no attention and man did it make me want her even more. We talked a little bit at that barbeque, we even exchanged numbers but it was as if it was a platonic friendly number drop, not the here is my number lets fuck someday way. Other than that I didn’t really say much to her. So this was the strange twist to the end of “the week that was” I saw Layla and not only forgot about those girls from earlier in the week I seemed to have forgot any other girl even exists. It was pretty funny that I was finally starting to become the playboy I always wanted to be but all I could think about was this enigma of a woman.
One of life’s funny little ironies I guess. And as an extra little twist she was showing no interest in me. I completely became focused on Layla and my pursuit of her but I couldn’t show her at all. I spend the next few weeks hanging out a lot with Layla and Parisa, totally playing the I’m just a friend role with both of them maybe even more so with Layla. I was always nice and courteous but never flirty or complimentary. I later find out this move is very similar to what’s called the “neg” in a great book called The Game. I wasn’t sure if my plan was working but either way I had a blast partying with these girls, we would go out to clubs and bars but sometimes we would all just chill around and smoke some sweet ganja. They were like my boys except they were two hot girls. The more I saw Layla the more I needed her and it was starting to get very difficult to hide my feelings, but after a little while I could feel a little bit of sexual tension between us I could tell that she was wondering why I never hit on her anymore. It was like I was playing her game and finally I was starting to win.
Then surprisingly it happened. It was the Fourth of July and we went to some big party and got pretty trashed. Fairly late into the night Layla came up to me, she didn’t even say a word she just grabbed my hand and led me into a bedroom. It’s funny because I was pretty drunk but as soon as she grabbed me all my adrenaline started to flow and I quickly sobered up. She sits me down on the bed, straddles me and we start to make out. My lord it was fucking amazing, this was the perfect kiss and I never wanted it to end, but she stops soon after. Layla pulls back, looks me in the eye and asks me what my favorite color is. Yea, that’s right I was as confused as you are. So all I could do was answer back “red” with a perplexed look on my face. She quickly grabs me and we start to make out again. I was so nervous about this but at the same time it all felt so right, it was a seesaw of emotion. I remember telling her I had been waiting for this moment for so long and now that’s it’s finally here I don’t know how to act.
Layla just rubbed my stubble of a beard with her two hands and told me to act like myself. So about ten seconds into our next make out session I try to slide her hand down toward my cock to see if she starts a little up and down motion. It’s a pretty standard classic move. But she abruptly pulls her hand away and tells me not to act too much like myself. The two of us stay the night in the room, I spend the next few hours kissing those scrumptious lips and answering more offbeat questions about myself
CHAPTER 6 THE CONVERSION
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
CHAPTER 4 THINGS GET CRAZY
CHAPTER 4 THINGS GET CRAZY
So after Luisa and I broke up I went into a huge funk. I found out that she was now dating the guy that she hooked up with and that just pissed me off even more. Now this may seem like a double standard to some but I considered my act with Natalie just a sex fling and I could not get over the fact Luisa was actually dating someone already. Besides I was in a different zip code than her so according to man law I wasn’t even technically cheating. For a while all I can do is picture my girl with a new man, them holding hands walking down south beach all happy and shit, I couldn’t get that sight out of my head for some reason. I actually started to understand those “we’re broke up and you did me wrong” songs, I would go out of my way to listen to all of them. For the next two weeks all I did was work and when I wasn’t working I was sitting in my room smoking pot and coming up with a million things I would say to Luisa if we ever bumped into each other. Needless to say but that was not a fun experience and I was truly in a lot of hurt. So what do I do, well the only logical thing I could think of at the time, I turn to the Miami nightlife to sooth my pain.
I started working more which led to more partying which led to me dropping all my classes and that in turn led me back to more partying. I start drinking more and more and have discovered like Ron Burgundy I love scotch, scotch scotch scotch. So back to the party scene in Miami and even though I hate to quote the same movie twice I will. Because Burgundy also would say when in Rome and when in Miami well…. You blow cocaine. Yes I have been introduced to that sexy bitch snow white and I liked her. That sweet spine tingling sensation when you snort a nice line of cocaine and then swing your head up holding your nose shut just for a second then taking another big sniff of air just so you can suck up the leftovers in your nose hairs. THAT FEELING RIGHT THERE, is the feeling I always loved So just like that things were getting very crazy for me, my all night partying turned into two or three day bingers.
During the next 4-5 months I work a lot to help support my bad habits, which by now were even more than just weed and coke. I start to try pills for the first time, half of which I wasn’t even sure what they were. I even did some ecstasy but that was never my forte. Now mind you during this phase I was hanging out with some crazy ass dudes that could get any drug at anytime so it was just so easy to party all the time. Also Miami has what seems to be an endless supply of coke sluts, and I was on the rebound so I try to hook up with every single one of them. Now there was some trash and some honorable mentions but there is no need to go through the list. Anyway my cocaine issue is getting worse, it’s not like I was waking up every day and blowing huge Tony Montana lines in bed but every time I went out I wanted some blow and each time I wanted more and more.
Also this is the first time I discovered Xanax and Klonopin, they are anti-anxiety pills that would help me sleep after the partying was over. There really is nothing worse than lying in bed with your eyes wide open, no one around and no more coke. After you’ve been up for about two days all your body wants to do is sleep but all your mind wants to do is think, it truly sucks. I still remember the turning point, one day after a long binger I was laying in my bed and I didn’t have any pills so I just could not sleep. I had to be at work pretty soon but all I was worried about was the fact that I was hitting rock bottom. I felt like complete shit, I was the biggest loser in the world and I didn’t want to live like this anymore. So what could I do? On that very day I decide to go back home, back to DC, back to boring. I called out of work and spend the whole day planning my move back up 95 north. I figured I would just run away from my problems, this was before I realized just how fast my problems were.
Luckily my lease in my apartment was on a month to month by this point, so I could plan a quick escape from this Heaven/Hell we call Miami. I spend the next three weeks trying to sober up and surprisingly enough I was pretty good about it. I’m not sure if it was because I was just so fed up with my lifestyle or the fact that I was so busy trying to get everything together for the move but I actually stopped doing all those drugs. This was when I first realized the difference between addicts and binge users because I know for a fact some of my friends could not have just stopped partying like I did on their own. I was proud of myself and just about ready for the hike up north, but just before I leave I meet someone very interesting.
A buddy of mine from Virginia had two friends that had planned a trip to Miami about a week before I was leaving. These two girls, who were supposedly very good looking, needed a place to stay so of course I offered my humble abode. Well the girls seemed to be very nice and yes they were definitely hot, unfortunately I was so caught up in my own crazy life and getting ready for my move the three of us rarely had a chance to chill. But in the little time that we did spend together I noticed something about one of them. Her name was Layla and it wasn’t just that she was hot or had the most perfect pair of toes I had ever seen, it was more than that, something was different about her. She was, well to put it in one word crazy, and to put it in more than one word the most amazing person I had ever met. Mind you I got all this from only a few hours of hanging out with this girl so there were no real sparks just mere interest, and sadly nothing came out of it the girls were way too into their vacation and I was way too into my move for us to spend any time together. Soon Layla and Parisa leave to go back to VA. I wasn’t too far behind them myself so a couple days after they leave I pack up my life again and get ready to head up north. So why did I bring all this up? Am I a bad narrator like Robert Downey JR in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, well that is for you to decide and for me not to care about.
Now I’m back on the road again, I had made this 1000 plus mile journey a few times and it sort of became a reflection period for me. Unfortunately this time I was driving back for good and it was a very sad depressing reflection. I felt like I accomplished nothing in my time in Florida and not only that but between my bad relationship and Miami partying I picked some bad habits. So here I was driving back to the NOVA/DC area and about to move in with my parents. O my God I was moving back in with my parents what a reject cliché. I guess you would ask why I would put myself through this and leave a great place like Miami, and the answer is simple I had to. I had no choice I knew my life was literally snowballing into a bad future and like a poker player folding a very good hand to a great hand I was wisely getting out.
CHAPTER 5 THE PLAN
So after Luisa and I broke up I went into a huge funk. I found out that she was now dating the guy that she hooked up with and that just pissed me off even more. Now this may seem like a double standard to some but I considered my act with Natalie just a sex fling and I could not get over the fact Luisa was actually dating someone already. Besides I was in a different zip code than her so according to man law I wasn’t even technically cheating. For a while all I can do is picture my girl with a new man, them holding hands walking down south beach all happy and shit, I couldn’t get that sight out of my head for some reason. I actually started to understand those “we’re broke up and you did me wrong” songs, I would go out of my way to listen to all of them. For the next two weeks all I did was work and when I wasn’t working I was sitting in my room smoking pot and coming up with a million things I would say to Luisa if we ever bumped into each other. Needless to say but that was not a fun experience and I was truly in a lot of hurt. So what do I do, well the only logical thing I could think of at the time, I turn to the Miami nightlife to sooth my pain.
I started working more which led to more partying which led to me dropping all my classes and that in turn led me back to more partying. I start drinking more and more and have discovered like Ron Burgundy I love scotch, scotch scotch scotch. So back to the party scene in Miami and even though I hate to quote the same movie twice I will. Because Burgundy also would say when in Rome and when in Miami well…. You blow cocaine. Yes I have been introduced to that sexy bitch snow white and I liked her. That sweet spine tingling sensation when you snort a nice line of cocaine and then swing your head up holding your nose shut just for a second then taking another big sniff of air just so you can suck up the leftovers in your nose hairs. THAT FEELING RIGHT THERE, is the feeling I always loved So just like that things were getting very crazy for me, my all night partying turned into two or three day bingers.
During the next 4-5 months I work a lot to help support my bad habits, which by now were even more than just weed and coke. I start to try pills for the first time, half of which I wasn’t even sure what they were. I even did some ecstasy but that was never my forte. Now mind you during this phase I was hanging out with some crazy ass dudes that could get any drug at anytime so it was just so easy to party all the time. Also Miami has what seems to be an endless supply of coke sluts, and I was on the rebound so I try to hook up with every single one of them. Now there was some trash and some honorable mentions but there is no need to go through the list. Anyway my cocaine issue is getting worse, it’s not like I was waking up every day and blowing huge Tony Montana lines in bed but every time I went out I wanted some blow and each time I wanted more and more.
Also this is the first time I discovered Xanax and Klonopin, they are anti-anxiety pills that would help me sleep after the partying was over. There really is nothing worse than lying in bed with your eyes wide open, no one around and no more coke. After you’ve been up for about two days all your body wants to do is sleep but all your mind wants to do is think, it truly sucks. I still remember the turning point, one day after a long binger I was laying in my bed and I didn’t have any pills so I just could not sleep. I had to be at work pretty soon but all I was worried about was the fact that I was hitting rock bottom. I felt like complete shit, I was the biggest loser in the world and I didn’t want to live like this anymore. So what could I do? On that very day I decide to go back home, back to DC, back to boring. I called out of work and spend the whole day planning my move back up 95 north. I figured I would just run away from my problems, this was before I realized just how fast my problems were.
Luckily my lease in my apartment was on a month to month by this point, so I could plan a quick escape from this Heaven/Hell we call Miami. I spend the next three weeks trying to sober up and surprisingly enough I was pretty good about it. I’m not sure if it was because I was just so fed up with my lifestyle or the fact that I was so busy trying to get everything together for the move but I actually stopped doing all those drugs. This was when I first realized the difference between addicts and binge users because I know for a fact some of my friends could not have just stopped partying like I did on their own. I was proud of myself and just about ready for the hike up north, but just before I leave I meet someone very interesting.
A buddy of mine from Virginia had two friends that had planned a trip to Miami about a week before I was leaving. These two girls, who were supposedly very good looking, needed a place to stay so of course I offered my humble abode. Well the girls seemed to be very nice and yes they were definitely hot, unfortunately I was so caught up in my own crazy life and getting ready for my move the three of us rarely had a chance to chill. But in the little time that we did spend together I noticed something about one of them. Her name was Layla and it wasn’t just that she was hot or had the most perfect pair of toes I had ever seen, it was more than that, something was different about her. She was, well to put it in one word crazy, and to put it in more than one word the most amazing person I had ever met. Mind you I got all this from only a few hours of hanging out with this girl so there were no real sparks just mere interest, and sadly nothing came out of it the girls were way too into their vacation and I was way too into my move for us to spend any time together. Soon Layla and Parisa leave to go back to VA. I wasn’t too far behind them myself so a couple days after they leave I pack up my life again and get ready to head up north. So why did I bring all this up? Am I a bad narrator like Robert Downey JR in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, well that is for you to decide and for me not to care about.
Now I’m back on the road again, I had made this 1000 plus mile journey a few times and it sort of became a reflection period for me. Unfortunately this time I was driving back for good and it was a very sad depressing reflection. I felt like I accomplished nothing in my time in Florida and not only that but between my bad relationship and Miami partying I picked some bad habits. So here I was driving back to the NOVA/DC area and about to move in with my parents. O my God I was moving back in with my parents what a reject cliché. I guess you would ask why I would put myself through this and leave a great place like Miami, and the answer is simple I had to. I had no choice I knew my life was literally snowballing into a bad future and like a poker player folding a very good hand to a great hand I was wisely getting out.
CHAPTER 5 THE PLAN
Monday, March 8, 2010
CHAPTER 3 THINGS GET SERIOUS
CHAPTER 3 THINGS GET SERIOUS
I met her years back in high school, she was younger than me and we never really noticed each other. Through our mutual associates we ended up becoming friends but nothing ever sparked. Well of course I thought she was hot but I never imagined anything would happen between us. Fortunately after high school all that would change. I remember our first kiss was on New Year’s Eve of the millennium. From then on we were instantly into each other, it was almost as if we had always wanted each other we just didn’t know it until now. After a few weeks of both us trying to play it cool with the other, we were officially a couple. I had never felt like this before. Her touch. Her voice. Her smell was my whole world. She had this Latin flavor to her that just drove me wild. She always wore sexy, yet classy, high heels and by the way she had very nice feet (a not so unusual prerequisite I have for dating anyone).
You could always hear her walking into a room but even more than that you could feel her presence; she was one of those truly hot women that could raise the temperature just by being there. But enough about my infatuation with her the point is that we were one of those extremely happy young couples that make you want to vomit all over yourself. Which I totally understand now. She was just finishing high school, I was still in community college and we had the whole world in front of us. We made plans for such a great future together and we followed through on all of them and lived happily ever after. THE END.
…Ok so maybe that last part was a lie.
We actually didn’t follow through on any of those plans. I guess what they said in MR and MRS Smith is true happy endings are just stories that haven’t finished yet. Luisa was always a dreamer and had many aspirations one of which was going to college in Miami Florida, and who was I to hold her back. Not a girl like that she was destined for bigger and better things.
We spend an amazing summer together, one of the best of my life. Not a care in the world, no real bills, no responsibilities because all we would do with our spare time was have amazing passionate sex. I still smoked a lot of pot and as for Luisa she never smoked herself but did not care that I did at all. In fact she used to like to give me blowjobs while I smoked my blunts and yes it was as good as it sounds. My life was so simple then unfortunately I did not appreciate it as much as I should have because in the flight of life time adds nothing but more turbulence. As for us, our original plan was to break up and rock the old cliché of just being friends. But we were way too young and in love to make a sane logical decision like that. Just a week before she leaves for school we decide to stay together and just “see what happens”. Funny. Now that I think of that I guess those are famous last words for a lot of couples.
I know she was leaving to better herself and it is very selfish to not want that for someone you love. But I just kept thinking to myself that another girl has left me and this time I actually care. Except I didn’t just care. I was devastated. I missed her so much. I became one of those guys that I used to make fun of because they were way too into their girlfriend. At first I would go visit her as much as I could afford to do, which was not that often. Also of course we did what all long distance relationships do to stay afloat: We had tons of phone sex. But this was not enough to quench my thirst for her, and after my third trip down to Miami in about six months I decide that Mia is the place for me. I wait another six months to get my associates degree from the local community college.
Basically meaning that I came up with enough money to go through two years of parking expenses, book costs and a fair amount for each class. As it is becoming obvious I hated school, I was way too into the real world that I was getting a taste of. It probably would have been a better idea for me to stay up in Virginia and finish school but everything in me told me to just get up and leave. Even though I knew it was a bad idea to leave my family, my friends and a town that took me a long time to get connected in but my gut said go. And if Doyle Brunson’s Super Systems (the true poker bible) taught me anything it was to trust your instinct, your true instinct that is. The first feeling you have not the thoughts that come afterwards which are corrupted by insecurities, doubts and other fears we institute in our minds because that is what society tells us to be concerned with.
As luck would have it a very good friend of mine from high school also wanted to move to Miami. He was a great guy and one of my best wingmen when I was single so this was a perfect scenario. So I take care of a few minor details, save as much money as I possibly can and we pack up our lives and hit 95 south. All the way actually to the 2nd to last exit right in downtown Miami. I enroll in the community college down there once again just to keep my parents quite. My buddy and I rented out a little apartment right in the heart of downtown, ten minutes from South Beach and some other amazing places. Unfortunately we were about five minutes away from the ghetto and the local soup kitchen so there were a lot of homeless bums around my place. But none of this mattered to me I was near Luisa and life was good. It was the first time we both had our own places so we pretty much lived together.
We were both in school and both serving at local restaurants (and in Miami that means great money for a twenty year old). It was the first time in my young life that I was actually including someone in my plans for the future and it was a good feeling. She satisfied all my sexual needs. She even almost let me have a threesome with her and another girl. But you will hear about all that later. We were so happy and I truly thought we would stay together forever but like the song says forever never seems that long until your grown. The good feelings only lasted so long and those feelings were then followed by fear of commitment and being tied down.
Also it is not easy to live in the best looking city in the nation (sorry LA) and try to be in a monogamous relationship. Everything was gravy for about a year with us but then slowly and surely things start to go sour, I wonder if gravy can go sour I hope so or this analogy doesn’t really work. We both have different groups of friends, we argue a lot over the most minuscule things, she seems to get mad at me for no reason and I’m sure she thought the same of me. I soon find myself not spending too many nights with my first true love, I noticed that I’m totally checking out all these fine girls in Miami where before I would go out of my way to ignore them thinking to myself she has nothing on my girl. Well I decide to take a break from Florida for my winter vacation and head up north for few weeks. This was the beginning of the end for us.
As soon as I get back there I bump into Natalie. Remember her? She took my flower in the first chapter, and remember I said we would see her again. Well I’m no liar but I am a cheater because Nat and I hooked up that first week I was back. To me it was a purely sexual experience but it seemed more to her. Natalie had recently graduated college and was ready to settle down with someone, but needless to say she was barking up the wrong tree. She knew I had a girlfriend but she also, thanks to my big mouth, knew we were in turmoil. I guess she just assumed I would leave Luisa and move back up to DC to be with her. I am never shocked by the audacity of some women but she was taking the cake. We slept together twice in two weeks and she thinks I’m going to drop my life for her, and mind you I never led her on to believe this was anything but a little fling if anything I told her that I wanted to work things out with Luisa not end them. Well of course I wasn’t going to give up my steak dinner for a pork chop and when Natalie figured this out she did what all scorned women do. She got very angry and then got her revenge.
Ok so this part is a pretty long story but I’ll try to make it short. After I let Nat know that she was just a fling she first yells, cusses me out and proceeds to tell me what a horrible person I am and that karma would kick me in my ass. All that was ok because I just brushed it right off, it’s what she did next that really kicked me in my ass. Natalie somehow finds out Luisa’s instant message screen name and contacts her. She told her everything plus a lot of bullshit, basically all the cheating I did with her except in her version it was me that wanted to pursue a relationship. I tried to tell Luisa that she was just my crazy ex but for some reason Luisa could always tell when I was lying, so I finally break down and tell her the truth. I tried to get her to listen to me and the fact that I only wanted to be with her but it was too little too late. By the time I got back to Miami Luisa told me she had hooked up with someone else and we were finished. It was a crazy break up that included a lot of yelling and crying, and all that was followed by us not talking at all. We eventually became friends again even though by then we were two totally different people. But once again this was not the last we are going to see of my ex girlfriend.
CHAPTER 4 THINGS GET CRAZY
I met her years back in high school, she was younger than me and we never really noticed each other. Through our mutual associates we ended up becoming friends but nothing ever sparked. Well of course I thought she was hot but I never imagined anything would happen between us. Fortunately after high school all that would change. I remember our first kiss was on New Year’s Eve of the millennium. From then on we were instantly into each other, it was almost as if we had always wanted each other we just didn’t know it until now. After a few weeks of both us trying to play it cool with the other, we were officially a couple. I had never felt like this before. Her touch. Her voice. Her smell was my whole world. She had this Latin flavor to her that just drove me wild. She always wore sexy, yet classy, high heels and by the way she had very nice feet (a not so unusual prerequisite I have for dating anyone).
You could always hear her walking into a room but even more than that you could feel her presence; she was one of those truly hot women that could raise the temperature just by being there. But enough about my infatuation with her the point is that we were one of those extremely happy young couples that make you want to vomit all over yourself. Which I totally understand now. She was just finishing high school, I was still in community college and we had the whole world in front of us. We made plans for such a great future together and we followed through on all of them and lived happily ever after. THE END.
…Ok so maybe that last part was a lie.
We actually didn’t follow through on any of those plans. I guess what they said in MR and MRS Smith is true happy endings are just stories that haven’t finished yet. Luisa was always a dreamer and had many aspirations one of which was going to college in Miami Florida, and who was I to hold her back. Not a girl like that she was destined for bigger and better things.
We spend an amazing summer together, one of the best of my life. Not a care in the world, no real bills, no responsibilities because all we would do with our spare time was have amazing passionate sex. I still smoked a lot of pot and as for Luisa she never smoked herself but did not care that I did at all. In fact she used to like to give me blowjobs while I smoked my blunts and yes it was as good as it sounds. My life was so simple then unfortunately I did not appreciate it as much as I should have because in the flight of life time adds nothing but more turbulence. As for us, our original plan was to break up and rock the old cliché of just being friends. But we were way too young and in love to make a sane logical decision like that. Just a week before she leaves for school we decide to stay together and just “see what happens”. Funny. Now that I think of that I guess those are famous last words for a lot of couples.
I know she was leaving to better herself and it is very selfish to not want that for someone you love. But I just kept thinking to myself that another girl has left me and this time I actually care. Except I didn’t just care. I was devastated. I missed her so much. I became one of those guys that I used to make fun of because they were way too into their girlfriend. At first I would go visit her as much as I could afford to do, which was not that often. Also of course we did what all long distance relationships do to stay afloat: We had tons of phone sex. But this was not enough to quench my thirst for her, and after my third trip down to Miami in about six months I decide that Mia is the place for me. I wait another six months to get my associates degree from the local community college.
Basically meaning that I came up with enough money to go through two years of parking expenses, book costs and a fair amount for each class. As it is becoming obvious I hated school, I was way too into the real world that I was getting a taste of. It probably would have been a better idea for me to stay up in Virginia and finish school but everything in me told me to just get up and leave. Even though I knew it was a bad idea to leave my family, my friends and a town that took me a long time to get connected in but my gut said go. And if Doyle Brunson’s Super Systems (the true poker bible) taught me anything it was to trust your instinct, your true instinct that is. The first feeling you have not the thoughts that come afterwards which are corrupted by insecurities, doubts and other fears we institute in our minds because that is what society tells us to be concerned with.
As luck would have it a very good friend of mine from high school also wanted to move to Miami. He was a great guy and one of my best wingmen when I was single so this was a perfect scenario. So I take care of a few minor details, save as much money as I possibly can and we pack up our lives and hit 95 south. All the way actually to the 2nd to last exit right in downtown Miami. I enroll in the community college down there once again just to keep my parents quite. My buddy and I rented out a little apartment right in the heart of downtown, ten minutes from South Beach and some other amazing places. Unfortunately we were about five minutes away from the ghetto and the local soup kitchen so there were a lot of homeless bums around my place. But none of this mattered to me I was near Luisa and life was good. It was the first time we both had our own places so we pretty much lived together.
We were both in school and both serving at local restaurants (and in Miami that means great money for a twenty year old). It was the first time in my young life that I was actually including someone in my plans for the future and it was a good feeling. She satisfied all my sexual needs. She even almost let me have a threesome with her and another girl. But you will hear about all that later. We were so happy and I truly thought we would stay together forever but like the song says forever never seems that long until your grown. The good feelings only lasted so long and those feelings were then followed by fear of commitment and being tied down.
Also it is not easy to live in the best looking city in the nation (sorry LA) and try to be in a monogamous relationship. Everything was gravy for about a year with us but then slowly and surely things start to go sour, I wonder if gravy can go sour I hope so or this analogy doesn’t really work. We both have different groups of friends, we argue a lot over the most minuscule things, she seems to get mad at me for no reason and I’m sure she thought the same of me. I soon find myself not spending too many nights with my first true love, I noticed that I’m totally checking out all these fine girls in Miami where before I would go out of my way to ignore them thinking to myself she has nothing on my girl. Well I decide to take a break from Florida for my winter vacation and head up north for few weeks. This was the beginning of the end for us.
As soon as I get back there I bump into Natalie. Remember her? She took my flower in the first chapter, and remember I said we would see her again. Well I’m no liar but I am a cheater because Nat and I hooked up that first week I was back. To me it was a purely sexual experience but it seemed more to her. Natalie had recently graduated college and was ready to settle down with someone, but needless to say she was barking up the wrong tree. She knew I had a girlfriend but she also, thanks to my big mouth, knew we were in turmoil. I guess she just assumed I would leave Luisa and move back up to DC to be with her. I am never shocked by the audacity of some women but she was taking the cake. We slept together twice in two weeks and she thinks I’m going to drop my life for her, and mind you I never led her on to believe this was anything but a little fling if anything I told her that I wanted to work things out with Luisa not end them. Well of course I wasn’t going to give up my steak dinner for a pork chop and when Natalie figured this out she did what all scorned women do. She got very angry and then got her revenge.
Ok so this part is a pretty long story but I’ll try to make it short. After I let Nat know that she was just a fling she first yells, cusses me out and proceeds to tell me what a horrible person I am and that karma would kick me in my ass. All that was ok because I just brushed it right off, it’s what she did next that really kicked me in my ass. Natalie somehow finds out Luisa’s instant message screen name and contacts her. She told her everything plus a lot of bullshit, basically all the cheating I did with her except in her version it was me that wanted to pursue a relationship. I tried to tell Luisa that she was just my crazy ex but for some reason Luisa could always tell when I was lying, so I finally break down and tell her the truth. I tried to get her to listen to me and the fact that I only wanted to be with her but it was too little too late. By the time I got back to Miami Luisa told me she had hooked up with someone else and we were finished. It was a crazy break up that included a lot of yelling and crying, and all that was followed by us not talking at all. We eventually became friends again even though by then we were two totally different people. But once again this was not the last we are going to see of my ex girlfriend.
CHAPTER 4 THINGS GET CRAZY
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
HOLLYWOODS-Chapter 2 The Wrench in My Game
CHAPTER 2 THE WRENCH IN MY GAME
But before we can get to the good and ugly we have to start at the bad. So like I said I was a teenager and felt invincible no matter what I did. The little crew I hung out with were nuckin futs and always up to no good. I had a met a few girls by now but I won’t get to them till later (you know the good and the ugly). Anyways one day my boy and I were chilling at this chick’s house when we meet this older guy, I believe he was 19. The dude had just moved to the DC area and I guess he knew one of the girl’s cousins or something like that, because honestly I have no idea what he was doing hanging out with a bunch of 15 year olds. He was about 6 foot tall and pretty stocky, he just moved here from Wisconsin and was obviously a loser among his peers but acted like hot shit around us kids.
Well the guy was a complete asshole and wouldn’t stop talking and making up all these stories about himself back home, but one thing he said did catch my attention. He told us about he kept hearing that there were lots of shrooms in Virginia (the psychedelic mushrooms that naturally grow in cow shit) and even though he was right, at that point in my life I had never seen mushrooms, let alone know where to get them. What I did already learn in my 15 years on this earth was of a scam to sell fake mushrooms and make lots of money, it was very simple you just buy some Portobello mushrooms and cut the caps from the stems then let them dry out and boom you can make about a 1,000 percent profit on those mushrooms.
This scam had already proved lucrative for my friend Mikey and me when we did it to some eighth graders a few months back. Although this only works if you’re selling to an idiot and you don’t care about the repercussion of seeing that person after they don’t trip off what you sold them, which was exactly the situation I was in. So I tell that douche bag I can get him some of those precious mushrooms and as we are going over the details of our soon to be transactions the weirdest thing happened, the guy just starts getting stranger and stranger. I mean he was odd when we first met him an hour ago but by now you could see it in his eyes that this guy was a little off his rocker and he was acting like a complete asshole, then he proceeds to tell me that he doesn’t want to deal with me because I was a sand nigger, and a dirty Arab and all this shit.
Just out of nowhere, this was really the first time I had ever heard anyone say these things to me because I grew up in the Northern Virginia and DC area which is one the biggest melting pots in the nation and even though I was born in Iran I moved to the states at the age of three, so with no accent and mainly light features most people think I’m Caucasian anyway. It was kind of funny that he kept calling me Arab when I was really Persian, just like in the movie Crash except that movie had not come out yet.
So how the hell did he even know this and more important why was he so upset, at first I did not know how to react, as a kid I was a little scrapper but far from a big fighter and anyways I'm a little on the small side so obviously I would prefer to talk this out with this big old redneck that wants to kill me all of a sudden. But he wasn’t having that. He just kept pushing and pushing. He was rude and extremely demeaning, what seemed to start off as just a joking sessions of races (we call it Jonin) eventually ended up with him getting in my face and pushing me until my friend Ryan who was a pretty big guy himself grabbed the dude and broke us up. This is when I take a step back and realize how serious this psycho is and I actually start to lose it myself. This guy was a bully and fucking mean one at that, he had four years five inches and about 90 pounds on me but he still wanted to fight. And like I said as a smaller guy I’ve always had a bit of a Napoleon complex and I get angry in a way I have never been before, almost a calm anger.
I remember my boy Ryan looking over at me while he breaks us up, almost as if to ask me if he should help me beat this dudes ass but I didn’t want that, that was never my style to jump someone, it wasn’t fair it wasn’t manly. I tried to talked it out with this guy but he was not feeling it, every minute he was getting angrier and more threatening. So then I freak out and become not so calm anymore. I just walk out of the house, it almost seemed like I was being the bigger man and just walking away from the fight but I guess it’s deep how shallow I was.
I go over to Ryan’s Chevy Nova and look for the first deadly weapon I see which happened to be a monkey wrench on the floor in the back seat. To this day I don’t know why I did what I did but I go back into the house with the wrench just barely holding on in my back pocket and of course the tough guy is still talking shit to me, he gets up in my face pushes me I just grab that wrench and whale it right in his head, and this big brute took the hit fairly well it didn’t even knock him out but it was over right there. He was bent down and just barely mumbling and I come down with another thunderous hit right on the back of his dome.
See when you are a calm person that completely loses your cool like I did it’s very hard to remember all the details of that emotional breakdown. I kind of have just flashes of everything that happened that day. And the final flash I have is that last hit on that guy’s head, the blood splattering everywhere, it was on my shirt, it was on him, it was all over the wall it was even on my fucking neck just oozing down. The blood was thick nasty blood too not like you see in most movies it reminded me of some good homemade marinara sauce chunky and thick in some parts, loose and sloppy in others.
Well obviously this was a decision I would regret in the very near future. About two seconds after that hit Ryan and me leave the house; as for the guy he was just pretty much laying on the floor the last I saw. I will never forget the adrenaline rush we had as we went to our friend’s house to store the bloody monkey wrench in his tool shed. I had such a mixed feeling of emotion all at once. On one hand I put some dumb racist bully in his place but on the other I could feel the trouble lurking in the corner. This was not going to end well.
In a court of law I was convicted of malicious wounding which is a third degree felony (luckily I was tried as a minor). But even more important than that, what about the code of ethics of men how was I judged then? That was my question, the guy was bigger and older but does that justify me using a weapon. Well what I tell myself that helps me sleep at night is that I didn’t just hit him in the head I hit every bully that thinks he can take advantage of those who are smaller than them. In adolescence society there are no weapons there are no rules except that bigger beats smaller. Well I broke that rule and I’m sure that guy is going to think twice next time he sees some small kid or some foreigner and wants to mess with him.
To tell you the truth I felt bad for what I put my family through. I felt bad for what I put that guy’s family through. I even felt some remorse for those poor girls who were at the house and had to witness that scene. But I have no sympathy for that jerk, if we were alone he would of pounced me, if he had the chance I’m sure he would of hit me with a wrench. It wasn’t just that I had to protect myself it was more like I had to prove myself. It’s actually funny after this all went down nobody was really interested in having confrontations with me. Unfortunately there are consequences for my actions. Just the five months it took to finally get to my twice delayed court date was hell. I was placed on house arrest for that whole period and it was a quick snap back to reality. That was actually the first time I started writing, personal writing that is, not a book report or something someone told me to write. It’s a shame because back then I thought it was weird to write down my thoughts so after writing and later reading my notes I would destroy all the evidence, very Inspector Gadget like.
Well eventually I was tried in court and I ended up with a lot of fines, some community service and probation for a year. Also, I had to meet with an outreach counselor every week. My probation officer and the outreach counselor were both very cool and seemed to like me a lot. Especially my PO, we really got a long. He was a laid back guy that you could just see had a very crazy side buried deep down in him, but I always felt that he dealt with so many scum bags in his line of work that I was a breath of fresh air. Besides it never hurts to tell a black man that you beat the living crap out of somebody for calling you a sand nigger. So after house arrest, after probation, which I was let off six months early for good behavior I was finally ready to be a teenager again. Only problem was I was now trying to make up for lost time and unfortunately time is never lost only wasted and in my adolescent mind I figured I would just party extra to make up for all that lost time.
This was the first time my grades started to slip at school but I didn’t care. At least I was out of my house and finally I didn’t have to worry about a court date coming up. Besides the only thing I was worried about was the next party and the next girl. I start hooking up with a lot of girls at my school, especially once I realize how much easier it was with the underclassmen. And that I don’t give a damn mentality was stuck in me, the girls were just objects to me I never had any intentions of becoming serious with any of them. Most of the time this was a mutual feeling but in the cases it wasn’t I always just ignored the girl or got in some bullshit fight and then ended things. The consequences were not important, but little did I know all this was ruining my karma and also the Goddess of love was watching me. Sounds weird? Well I hope it does because if it doesn’t than you are probably a little crazy.
Well later on you will find out about the Goddess of love and her role in my life. But as for now I was living it up. Still I was steadily selling pot just to keep up with my habit and still I was trying stick my penis in every exhaust pipe I could find. Actually there really are only two things of value to say about the next two years of my life. I transferred high schools because my mom got remarried and we moved, but it was just to the school up the road and I knew a lot of the students already from middle school, parties and drug transactions, so this was an easy transition for me. And second I graduated high school though to this day I’m still not sure how I pulled that off. My entire senior year was just one smoke out session after another. Honestly I don’t even remember much; I guess that’s why I’m not going to even try. Now obviously with the life I was living and the grades I received in high school I could not get into any college. So I do what all lost 18 year olds do, I enroll into community college.
I quickly learn that this is basically just a high school that you can smoke cigarettes outside of, it seemed to me that the whole school was filled with a bunch of middle to upper middle class lazy kids that were just there to keep their parents off their back. Well I fit right into this shit hole. And it truly was a good way to keep my parents quiet. A quick little catch up on me is that I’m still living at my parent’s house but I spend almost all of my free time at my friends’ apartment. I work part time at pizza place as a server and even though I am attending that community college it is pretty much the farthest thing from my mind. That first semester I took three classes; I dropped out of one and actually made fairly good grades in the other two. The point being that I was still caught up in that party lifestyle thinking to myself if not now, when. The cycle of wild young bachelor life continued for about a year, but then out of nowhere, things changed. We’ll call her Luisa and she shook up my world.
CHAPTER 3 THINGS GET SERIOUS
But before we can get to the good and ugly we have to start at the bad. So like I said I was a teenager and felt invincible no matter what I did. The little crew I hung out with were nuckin futs and always up to no good. I had a met a few girls by now but I won’t get to them till later (you know the good and the ugly). Anyways one day my boy and I were chilling at this chick’s house when we meet this older guy, I believe he was 19. The dude had just moved to the DC area and I guess he knew one of the girl’s cousins or something like that, because honestly I have no idea what he was doing hanging out with a bunch of 15 year olds. He was about 6 foot tall and pretty stocky, he just moved here from Wisconsin and was obviously a loser among his peers but acted like hot shit around us kids.
Well the guy was a complete asshole and wouldn’t stop talking and making up all these stories about himself back home, but one thing he said did catch my attention. He told us about he kept hearing that there were lots of shrooms in Virginia (the psychedelic mushrooms that naturally grow in cow shit) and even though he was right, at that point in my life I had never seen mushrooms, let alone know where to get them. What I did already learn in my 15 years on this earth was of a scam to sell fake mushrooms and make lots of money, it was very simple you just buy some Portobello mushrooms and cut the caps from the stems then let them dry out and boom you can make about a 1,000 percent profit on those mushrooms.
This scam had already proved lucrative for my friend Mikey and me when we did it to some eighth graders a few months back. Although this only works if you’re selling to an idiot and you don’t care about the repercussion of seeing that person after they don’t trip off what you sold them, which was exactly the situation I was in. So I tell that douche bag I can get him some of those precious mushrooms and as we are going over the details of our soon to be transactions the weirdest thing happened, the guy just starts getting stranger and stranger. I mean he was odd when we first met him an hour ago but by now you could see it in his eyes that this guy was a little off his rocker and he was acting like a complete asshole, then he proceeds to tell me that he doesn’t want to deal with me because I was a sand nigger, and a dirty Arab and all this shit.
Just out of nowhere, this was really the first time I had ever heard anyone say these things to me because I grew up in the Northern Virginia and DC area which is one the biggest melting pots in the nation and even though I was born in Iran I moved to the states at the age of three, so with no accent and mainly light features most people think I’m Caucasian anyway. It was kind of funny that he kept calling me Arab when I was really Persian, just like in the movie Crash except that movie had not come out yet.
So how the hell did he even know this and more important why was he so upset, at first I did not know how to react, as a kid I was a little scrapper but far from a big fighter and anyways I'm a little on the small side so obviously I would prefer to talk this out with this big old redneck that wants to kill me all of a sudden. But he wasn’t having that. He just kept pushing and pushing. He was rude and extremely demeaning, what seemed to start off as just a joking sessions of races (we call it Jonin) eventually ended up with him getting in my face and pushing me until my friend Ryan who was a pretty big guy himself grabbed the dude and broke us up. This is when I take a step back and realize how serious this psycho is and I actually start to lose it myself. This guy was a bully and fucking mean one at that, he had four years five inches and about 90 pounds on me but he still wanted to fight. And like I said as a smaller guy I’ve always had a bit of a Napoleon complex and I get angry in a way I have never been before, almost a calm anger.
I remember my boy Ryan looking over at me while he breaks us up, almost as if to ask me if he should help me beat this dudes ass but I didn’t want that, that was never my style to jump someone, it wasn’t fair it wasn’t manly. I tried to talked it out with this guy but he was not feeling it, every minute he was getting angrier and more threatening. So then I freak out and become not so calm anymore. I just walk out of the house, it almost seemed like I was being the bigger man and just walking away from the fight but I guess it’s deep how shallow I was.
I go over to Ryan’s Chevy Nova and look for the first deadly weapon I see which happened to be a monkey wrench on the floor in the back seat. To this day I don’t know why I did what I did but I go back into the house with the wrench just barely holding on in my back pocket and of course the tough guy is still talking shit to me, he gets up in my face pushes me I just grab that wrench and whale it right in his head, and this big brute took the hit fairly well it didn’t even knock him out but it was over right there. He was bent down and just barely mumbling and I come down with another thunderous hit right on the back of his dome.
See when you are a calm person that completely loses your cool like I did it’s very hard to remember all the details of that emotional breakdown. I kind of have just flashes of everything that happened that day. And the final flash I have is that last hit on that guy’s head, the blood splattering everywhere, it was on my shirt, it was on him, it was all over the wall it was even on my fucking neck just oozing down. The blood was thick nasty blood too not like you see in most movies it reminded me of some good homemade marinara sauce chunky and thick in some parts, loose and sloppy in others.
Well obviously this was a decision I would regret in the very near future. About two seconds after that hit Ryan and me leave the house; as for the guy he was just pretty much laying on the floor the last I saw. I will never forget the adrenaline rush we had as we went to our friend’s house to store the bloody monkey wrench in his tool shed. I had such a mixed feeling of emotion all at once. On one hand I put some dumb racist bully in his place but on the other I could feel the trouble lurking in the corner. This was not going to end well.
In a court of law I was convicted of malicious wounding which is a third degree felony (luckily I was tried as a minor). But even more important than that, what about the code of ethics of men how was I judged then? That was my question, the guy was bigger and older but does that justify me using a weapon. Well what I tell myself that helps me sleep at night is that I didn’t just hit him in the head I hit every bully that thinks he can take advantage of those who are smaller than them. In adolescence society there are no weapons there are no rules except that bigger beats smaller. Well I broke that rule and I’m sure that guy is going to think twice next time he sees some small kid or some foreigner and wants to mess with him.
To tell you the truth I felt bad for what I put my family through. I felt bad for what I put that guy’s family through. I even felt some remorse for those poor girls who were at the house and had to witness that scene. But I have no sympathy for that jerk, if we were alone he would of pounced me, if he had the chance I’m sure he would of hit me with a wrench. It wasn’t just that I had to protect myself it was more like I had to prove myself. It’s actually funny after this all went down nobody was really interested in having confrontations with me. Unfortunately there are consequences for my actions. Just the five months it took to finally get to my twice delayed court date was hell. I was placed on house arrest for that whole period and it was a quick snap back to reality. That was actually the first time I started writing, personal writing that is, not a book report or something someone told me to write. It’s a shame because back then I thought it was weird to write down my thoughts so after writing and later reading my notes I would destroy all the evidence, very Inspector Gadget like.
Well eventually I was tried in court and I ended up with a lot of fines, some community service and probation for a year. Also, I had to meet with an outreach counselor every week. My probation officer and the outreach counselor were both very cool and seemed to like me a lot. Especially my PO, we really got a long. He was a laid back guy that you could just see had a very crazy side buried deep down in him, but I always felt that he dealt with so many scum bags in his line of work that I was a breath of fresh air. Besides it never hurts to tell a black man that you beat the living crap out of somebody for calling you a sand nigger. So after house arrest, after probation, which I was let off six months early for good behavior I was finally ready to be a teenager again. Only problem was I was now trying to make up for lost time and unfortunately time is never lost only wasted and in my adolescent mind I figured I would just party extra to make up for all that lost time.
This was the first time my grades started to slip at school but I didn’t care. At least I was out of my house and finally I didn’t have to worry about a court date coming up. Besides the only thing I was worried about was the next party and the next girl. I start hooking up with a lot of girls at my school, especially once I realize how much easier it was with the underclassmen. And that I don’t give a damn mentality was stuck in me, the girls were just objects to me I never had any intentions of becoming serious with any of them. Most of the time this was a mutual feeling but in the cases it wasn’t I always just ignored the girl or got in some bullshit fight and then ended things. The consequences were not important, but little did I know all this was ruining my karma and also the Goddess of love was watching me. Sounds weird? Well I hope it does because if it doesn’t than you are probably a little crazy.
Well later on you will find out about the Goddess of love and her role in my life. But as for now I was living it up. Still I was steadily selling pot just to keep up with my habit and still I was trying stick my penis in every exhaust pipe I could find. Actually there really are only two things of value to say about the next two years of my life. I transferred high schools because my mom got remarried and we moved, but it was just to the school up the road and I knew a lot of the students already from middle school, parties and drug transactions, so this was an easy transition for me. And second I graduated high school though to this day I’m still not sure how I pulled that off. My entire senior year was just one smoke out session after another. Honestly I don’t even remember much; I guess that’s why I’m not going to even try. Now obviously with the life I was living and the grades I received in high school I could not get into any college. So I do what all lost 18 year olds do, I enroll into community college.
I quickly learn that this is basically just a high school that you can smoke cigarettes outside of, it seemed to me that the whole school was filled with a bunch of middle to upper middle class lazy kids that were just there to keep their parents off their back. Well I fit right into this shit hole. And it truly was a good way to keep my parents quiet. A quick little catch up on me is that I’m still living at my parent’s house but I spend almost all of my free time at my friends’ apartment. I work part time at pizza place as a server and even though I am attending that community college it is pretty much the farthest thing from my mind. That first semester I took three classes; I dropped out of one and actually made fairly good grades in the other two. The point being that I was still caught up in that party lifestyle thinking to myself if not now, when. The cycle of wild young bachelor life continued for about a year, but then out of nowhere, things changed. We’ll call her Luisa and she shook up my world.
CHAPTER 3 THINGS GET SERIOUS
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
