CHAPTER 5 and 5 1/2

CHAPTER 5 THE PLAN

All right now I am back living with my folks, before I get to the plan I will give you a quick overview of my family. I lived with my mom, stepfather, 2 stepsisters and a stepbrother. My biological brother and one other stepsister had moved out. They were older and managed not to come back with their tales in between their legs like yours truly. As for my real dad he has been out of the picture since I was two and like I said before, my mom remarried when I was in the middle of high school. All this is a story on its own but right now who really cares about that story besides I said quick overview. So in general the house was fairly ok, I got a long pretty well with everyone. But how can you go from living in downtown Miami with a great wingman as a roommate and an endless sea of hot women around to the suburbs of Northern Virginia with parents as roommates and a lot of old fat people everywhere. I know it sounds harsh but these were the thoughts of a twenty-two year old, or at least this twenty-two years old. Well to the question of how do you do this, the answer is you do it with a sad depressed look on your face. The first few weeks were really tough on me. I can remember a couple of mornings I would wake up and for the first few seconds I forgot I moved back and thought I was waking up to that sweet Florida sun. But realizing where I was made me want to cry, I know boo hoo poor guy gets to go home and live for free in a fairly nice house, sounds real tough huh. Well it actually was, I felt my pride had taken a big hit and a man’s pride like his balls can hurt more than anything in the world if it takes a bad hit. I felt that I failed. I wasn’t in school, I had no girl and now I was back home. In my mind at the time I was the epidemie of a loser. I had to do something; I needed some sort of stability in my life. I needed a plan.

First of all no drugs, and by drugs I mean everything except pot (which I personally don’t consider a drug). Second school, I had to figure out what I was going to do with school because that is what society especially my family has instilled in me. And third was money I needed a job it was just that simple.

So as far as the drugs go I was clean and instantly I get a job at a local restaurant. Things seemed to have a good start for me but now it was time for school, which I just hated at this point in my life. There was no way I was going back to community college I would rather work at McDonalds for the rest of my life. Basically I realized college life was not for me but I had to do something there had to be some middle ground to keep my family and me happy. It took a while for me to figure out what I wanted to do, and then finally I enrolled in a computer-training program. I’ve always been interested in computers and fairly savvy with them so I figure this was the path for me. Honestly I enjoyed the courses, it was interesting and sometimes even fun. I learned about computer hardware, software and basic operating systems. I even learned how to take a computer apart and put it back together (with a little guidance that is). So I felt pleased with my decision. I breezed through my first few courses, receiving my A+ and NET+ certifications. Which is computer mumbo jumbo for knowing the basics of computers and computer networking. I spend almost all my time either at work or at school, and for the first time in my life I was saving money. I would go out once in a while but nothing too crazy, I guess it is a lot easier to save money when drop an expensive vice like drugs. One other factor in my life was that I had no girlfriend, I wasn’t dating anyone and really I had no leads that I was working on. Back then this was really bothering me, I wanted a girlfriend or at least a nice friend with benefits. It seems human nature that when you start to settle your life you, well, want to settle down. It’s funny because looking back this was a very peaceful time in my life. Not having a girlfriend is like losing your cell phone, at first you freak out and feel lost but sometimes you realize that the very thing you feel you need can be just an unnecessary stress. But nevertheless there were phone calls to be made and sex to be had.

But I can’t forget about my game plan I’ve got to follow through as much as I can. So now I’m making good money at the restaurant and taking part time courses to become MCSE (Microsoft certified systems engineer). These courses were not as fun as my first few and by this point in networking studies things were getting real tough real fast. My life was stable and much more organized than ever. . I totally took myself out of any party scene and just did my own thing. A simpler way to put it is I was living a boring lifestyle. But the problem with me, the problem that triggers the gun of my quarter life crisis is that unsatisfying feeling of consistency. I was too complacent in my life and it was driving me even crazier than the drugs were when I partied like a rock star. I become so bored that I decide to take a baby step towards having some fun, but unfortunately fun comes with a co-signer named trouble. At first I just figure I would start to go out a little more, you know maybe finally take up some of those invitations to party with the people I worked with. But this was not just a simple decision of going out with some friends this was a loss in a battle of my own will. Slowly but surely things were changing again.


CHAPTER 5 1/2 THINGS DON’T ALWAYS GO AS PLANNED

With that first baby step came a few giant leaps. Once again I realize that to party more I need to work more and I could just feel myself back in the same cycle I was in down in Florida. Luckily the crowd I was hanging out with were just potheads and a few raging alcoholics no real drug users. Which was really great for me because even though I did start to go out a lot it was pretty much always just to get drunk not all sorts of twisted like I used to. With drugs out of the scene and school becoming farther and farther from my mind I start to focus on my true addiction GIRLS! When your 22 and fairly easy on the eyes the recipe to success with the ladies is simple, job + car + your own place + game = pussy galore and I’m not talking about a Bond flick. I had a job, I had a car not a great ride but not too shabby. Thank God I was blessed with the game always said the right line. That is a Too Short quote meaning I have always had the ability to talk to girls (even really hot ones) without being too intimidated or stumbling over my own words. So I have three of the four checked off but I’m missing the most important. My own place. I was still living with my family and this was a big no-no. What good is having game if you don’t have home field advantage?

At this point I had some friends (the smart ones at least) that were looking into buying their own townhouse or condo, which of course is the logical thing to do, but I do not possess that resolve. I can’t think 3 months down the road let alone three to five years. So I decide to just shit my money down the toilet every month and start to look for a place to rent and find some good wingmen to live with. I find a cool little apartment in the heart of Fairfax city in Virginia with two of my good friends, Johnny and Big Sean, which I had known since middle school. They were trust worthy guys and total playboys so it was a win-win situation. It was a descent sized three-bedroom apartment not too fancy but just perfect for us. Even my parents were happy because I was only about twenty minutes away from them. Ok so instantly we turn our place into party central actually more like after party central. I had forgotten how easy that equation was when you have the fourth and final piece. So I start to meet a lot a of cool girls I had some hook ups, but for better or worse when you have more options your start to become more picky and I really was not head over heels about anyone I had met so far. But it was ok I was having a blast living it up, I decide to take some time off from my MCSE courses to save money and work a little more. I know what you’re thinking but at the time it sounded like a good idea. So now I live on my own I have a two great wingmen to reside with and I’m not using any real drugs. Life is good and the women flow in and out of our place like water through the Mississippi river.

As you can see I’m really enjoying myself this was an exciting but not too crazy point in my life. Now we are about to embark on what I call THE WEEK THAT WAS. It was a magically delicious week that would forever be instilled in me. It was the heavens, the stars and the Gods all-aligning together to help me get what I wanted. It was simply the perfect storm of females. The week starts with me hanging out with this girl I had been kind of dating at work (Emily I believe it was) nothing special just some chick that works part time at my restaurant, anyway after about a month of trying I finally had sex with her on that Monday, and like I said nothing special. Then the next day I get a call from my ex girlfriend Luisa saying she was in town for a couple of days for her moms birthday. So that night she invites me out to dinner with her and her mom, Luisa’s mom always loved me because to this day I would still score her some pot. I was not expecting anything that night other than dinner. Well dinner was great but I had no idea of the dessert I was about to get. After we ate Luisa came back to my place, we topped of a bottle of wine and proceeded to have wild ex sex.

You know ex sex where you just take out all the frustrations the other person caused you in the past. It was very intense, extremely rough and lasted all night. Ex sex is very much like make up sex but even better, I’m sure there are some of you reading this right now and nodding your head up and down now because you have experienced it firsthand. So now it is Wednesday I was going to see Luisa again tonight but she made plans with some old girlfriends of hers so I just do my own thing, while at work I hear of a house party one of the bartenders is throwing so I decide to check it out. The party was all right nothing to crazy but still fun. One of our younger hostesses is at the party and she was with an interesting friend, she is with a foreign exchange student from Spain that is staying with her family. The girl (Carmen) is nice, she can’t speak much English and is still in high school but she is God damn fine. I notice an instant attraction so I make small talk, luckily I had learned a descent amount of Spanish in Miami, you pretty much have no choice English it seems is the second language down there. Well were really hitting it off and by the end of the party we were making out in some random bedroom, but soon after that the hostess she was staying with had to leave and take Carmen with her. Wisely somehow with our combined “Spanglish” I had made plans to take her out the next night. Then my Spanish princess left and, soon after I did the same so I could head home and plan my big date to come. On Thursday I go to pick her up and I actually had to go inside the house and meet hostess’s parents. By the way I keep calling her the hostess because for the life of me I cannot remember her name, but I digress. Surprisingly the parents were cool even though they knew I was a little older. I guess as long as it was not their daughter. Right. After a little light Q and A with the host parents the two of us head out to dinner. It was definitely much more awkward trying to communicate with this girl when I was sober.

Dinner was odd and over in a hurry we both needed to loosen up a little so we head back to my place for drinks and a movie. Then I basically spent the rest of the night trying to put my cock in this girl but she just would not let me, I mean I was throwing out my gold material here and she was just fighting it all off. After what seemed at least two hours of me failing to sleep with her she threw me for a total loop and proceeded to give me a blowjob. I’m still not sure if it was because she wanted to or because she could see my balls getting bluer by the moment or even if it was just a contingency prize for me putting out so much effort. Honestly I didn’t care why because that sweet little Spaniard sucked my cock like a venomous snake had bit it and she was trying to get the poison out. It was great for obvious reasons but more importantly this was a defining moment in my young life because this was when it hit me like a ton of bricks that sometimes it is just better to get a blowjob than to actually have sex with a girl. I think a lot of guys reach this moment at some point in their life, I mean it was all the pleasure with half of the guilt you can’t beat that. Eventually I drunkenly drive Carmen home she was going to be in the states for the next month so I was sure I would see her again. Well then it was Friday and even though I had been getting hammered all week and had to work a double shift that day. Like a true wannabe rock star I decide to go out again. I hit up some local bar with the roommates after I get off work. Big Sean and Johnny were great to have out at a bar because they were much better at the initial meet and greet than I was. So right off the bat Big Sean (we call him that because he was a big lineman on the football team back in high school) starts talking to a group of girls and soon enough we all end up around each other just shooting the shit and taking shots. One of the girls kept eye fucking me so it was my duty to focus on her more than her friends. This chick was pretty cool and extremely hammered. She was kind of punk rock, a lot of tattoos and too many piercings for my liking but the more I drank the sexier it all became. Even though it sucks that in VA last call is at 1:30 a.m., it can sometimes work to your advantage because if you’re out and having a good time nobody wants to stop partying and it is a great way to get girls back to your place. Well we do just that we get the three girls to come back to our place and now we have a three on three half-court game. I don’t remember much of that night, I don’t even remember her name but I do know we did have sex and I did wear a condom. I guess those are the only two things that really matter. So back to the week that was or is at this point, I just couldn’t believe the luck I’ve had so far this had been the best few days of my life. Maybe to a very rich or famous guy or even a guy that looks like Brad Pitt this might be a normal if not slow week but to an average dude like me this was amazing and eye opening. All regular guys reading this should know that weeks like this are possible all the time. It just takes a little bit of luck, some hard work and a whole lot of alcohol. Also most important you just have to believe because this was all of my focus at the time and I was finally seeing the end results of it. I guess in hindsight I should have focused on something more productive for my future but fuck that this was fun. Ironically even though I would not touch another girl for the rest of the weekend the most important and magical part of the week that was is still to come.

Ok so I woke up Saturday extremely hung over the only good sensation I felt was when I noticed old what’s her face had already left, a piece of paper with ten digits on it being the only remnants of her. But I couldn’t even focus on that I had to get up and work another damn double that day. This time I told myself I was not going to go out that night but unfortunately with me that is always easier said than done, because as soon as ten o’clock came strolling around I was finishing up at work and getting my second wind to go out that night. I finish my side work and roll all of my (what seemed to be a thousand) silverware, these being the glorious final duties of a server. One of my cousins and some of our boys were going out to a local pool hall not too far from me. I get home shower up and get myself so fresh and so clean then head right on down to meet up with the guys. The place was ok but not really crowded and besides I never really like to play billiards. So I’m doing my usual scan of the place, you know very Terminator like, getting readings on people, my main mission being scoping out single girls.

After a few minutes of scanning I see a familiar face. It’s Parisa. Remember the two girls that stayed with me in Miami right before I left? She was the friend of the girl with perfect toes. Parisa was a tall gorgeous girl but ever since we met in Miami it was obvious there was just no attraction between us I think it’s because I was too short for her or she was too tall for me I guess it depends on what angle you look from but regardless she was a cool down ass girl. I go over to say hi wondering if she will even remember me (it had been just over a year since we last saw each other). To my surprise she jumps up as soon as she sees me and gives me a big hug, as if we never lost a beat. We talk for a while she tells me all about school and that she is actually working right now at the pool hall as a cocktail waitress. We reminisce a lot about her trip to south beach she tells me that Layla will be happy to hear that she saw me.

BOOM instantly I start thinking about Layla, for some reason that girl always left an imprint in my mind. I wonder what she is doing; I wonder if she has a boyfriend, I wonder if she is really as crazy sexy cool as I think she is. Well of course there is no way that I would ask her friend any of these things so I did the next best thing and invited the two of them to my friends barbeque the next day. We exchange numbers and she gets back to work. I can still remember vividly how boring the rest of that night was to me, all I could think about was what the odds were that they would actually come out the next day. I left early and went home still with the thought of Layla in the back of my head. On Sunday Parisa called me fairly early in the morning to let me know that they are coming out to the barbeque. I got straight up and was strangely excited and nervous to see them, my palms were sweating, as I was getting ready to head out to my friends house. Then the big moment came I was going to see this chick that had been in my thoughts for a while. I had to figure out why she made such an impression and this time around I could actually think clear, my mind wasn’t absolute mush like the first time we met. Finally I see her and she is as fucking beautiful as I remember, actually she is even hotter than I thought.

After the bullshit small talk I immediately start to throw out some moves at her to see if she is picking up what I’m putting down, and she definitely was not. The more I hit on her the less interest she shows so I quickly stop. I soon realize that we know some of the same people she actually seems to know all of my friends. I even see here flirting with some of them, now this was bad she was showing me no attention and man did it make me want her even more. We talked a little bit at that barbeque, we even exchanged numbers but it was as if it was a platonic friendly number drop, not the here is my number lets fuck someday way. Other than that I didn’t really say much to her. So this was the strange twist to the end of “the week that was” I saw Layla and not only forgot about those girls from earlier in the week I seemed to have forgot any other girl even exists. It was pretty funny that I was finally starting to become the playboy I always wanted to be but all I could think about was this enigma of a woman.

One of life’s funny little ironies I guess. And as an extra little twist she was showing no interest in me. I completely became focused on Layla and my pursuit of her but I couldn’t show her at all. I spend the next few weeks hanging out a lot with Layla and Parisa, totally playing the I’m just a friend role with both of them maybe even more so with Layla. I was always nice and courteous but never flirty or complimentary. I later find out this move is very similar to what’s called the “neg” in a great book called The Game. I wasn’t sure if my plan was working but either way I had a blast partying with these girls, we would go out to clubs and bars but sometimes we would all just chill around and smoke some sweet ganja. They were like my boys except they were two hot girls. The more I saw Layla the more I needed her and it was starting to get very difficult to hide my feelings, but after a little while I could feel a little bit of sexual tension between us I could tell that she was wondering why I never hit on her anymore. It was like I was playing her game and finally I was starting to win.

Then surprisingly it happened. It was the Fourth of July and we went to some big party and got pretty trashed. Fairly late into the night Layla came up to me, she didn’t even say a word she just grabbed my hand and led me into a bedroom. It’s funny because I was pretty drunk but as soon as she grabbed me all my adrenaline started to flow and I quickly sobered up. She sits me down on the bed, straddles me and we start to make out. My lord it was fucking amazing, this was the perfect kiss and I never wanted it to end, but she stops soon after. Layla pulls back, looks me in the eye and asks me what my favorite color is. Yea, that’s right I was as confused as you are. So all I could do was answer back “red” with a perplexed look on my face. She quickly grabs me and we start to make out again. I was so nervous about this but at the same time it all felt so right, it was a seesaw of emotion. I remember telling her I had been waiting for this moment for so long and now that’s it’s finally here I don’t know how to act.

Layla just rubbed my stubble of a beard with her two hands and told me to act like myself. So about ten seconds into our next make out session I try to slide her hand down toward my cock to see if she starts a little up and down motion. It’s a pretty standard classic move. But she abruptly pulls her hand away and tells me not to act too much like myself. The two of us stay the night in the room, I spend the next few hours kissing those scrumptious lips and answering more offbeat questions about myself

CHAPTER 6 THE CONVERSION